Can I just win Lotto already?!

Today was a very discouraging eating day. I have had quite a few no shows and cancellations this week and it is definitely starting to affect my wallet. Which, in turn, affects what I can afford to buy food wise.

I desperately need to go to the grocery store but am waiting till next week to find out how much money I can spend on food after rent and bills are paid. This sucks! I really want to eat fresh, healthy locally grown foods but being cash poor at the moment is making it incredibly hard. It didn't help either that I ate very little throughout the day so that after a full days work my body was ravenous. Again, not the best time to make food decisions. Couple that will the fact that I need to make my money stretch further and we are right back to square one. Buying high calorie, low nutrition food for under $7. THAT IS HOW I GOT THIS BIG IN THE FIRST FRIGGIN' PLACE! I WANT OUT OF THIS CYCLE! NOW!!

I get so frustrated sometimes with my lack of imagination when it comes to healthy cheap foods. I have champagne tastes on a beer budget. In this country that's not a good thing because everything fresh and nutritious costs the most. So what do I do? Does anyone out there have any suggestions?

I know that this post seems angry, cause it is, but I don't want that to be the tone of my blog. So I am going to suck it up, drink some water and try to get a good nights sleep so that I may start fresh and new tomorrow.

See ya then!

Oy!

What a day. It began with my usual morning routine: get up, fix breakfast, check emails and stuff, return phone calls and mentally prepare myself for the day. Well, while reading emails one of the places that I work (there are two) called to say that they weren't sure that I knew but I had an 11am session booked. I didn't know, no one called me and it was now 10:06am. CRAP!

So I rushed to the shower, cursing the whole time.....I hate being rushed in the morning. I usually get over heated and sweaty and I can't seem to cool down the rest of the day. It sucks. I get to work and begin my very long day of taking care of others and I can feel a tension headache coming on. As a massage therapist I should make it a point of getting a regular massage myself but it has been well over 3 months since I last had one. The pain and tension just kept building and building until finally, today, I couldn't take it anymore.

The reason I am giving you this much info is that since I felt so awful, I opted to get a 90 minute deep tissue massage instead of going to the gym. I wish that I had time to do both but the massage won out in the end.

My eating today was really good....until the evening. I had lunch around 1:30 and wasn't able to have dinner until 9pm. My massage did get out until 8:30pm so by that time I was ravenous and I think that we all know that when you are crazy hungry you don't make the best decisions. So I had Chinese food, which I really don't like but it was one of the only things open that late that wasn't drive thru.

So I am not going to beat myself up, I already paid someone to do that earlier. Instead I am going to get a great nights sleep, hit the gym tomorrow morning and then begin my day. Actually I will be beginning my day with a lovely facial. Jealous? ;)

STATS/ 1st Weigh In

Okay, as promised here are my stats:

Height: 5'10
Weight: 323.4 (gasp)
Age: 32 (sob)
BMI: 46.3 (good lord!)

Cruise weight: 260
End Goal Weight: 150
End BMI: 21.5






I damn near had an aneurysm when I got on the scale today. HOW?! Well it truly is time to buckle down and get healthy. I am starting to walk my talk. I have to lead by example for my clients since I am a massage therapist. People are always asking for advice for stretching, working out and what they can do food wise for there bodies in order to make them healthier. I can just imagine what they are thinking when I start to tell them how important water, healthy food, exercise and stretching is for them. "What does she know about it?"

Well, starting now I am speaking from experience!

P.S

I forgot to mention that besides wanting to loose weight to become healthy I also have a 6 month goal. My best friend in the whole wide world is getting married in December on a cruise to the Caribbean and I am her maid of honor. I wont lie and say that the idea of sporting a swim suit right now is a little nauseating but my main reason for wanting to be "lighter" for the cruise is that there are so many adventure activities that I want to do that have weight restrictions and frankly I don't want to deal with that. So I am gonna take the weight out of the equation.

Cruising Great in '08! (oh, that was bad.)

Wait, What Day Is It?

Where did the week go?! I could have sworn that only two days ago I started this weight loss blog. Well it was a holiday weekend and I was extremely busy with work and family but that is still no excuse for starting something new and leaving it dangling out there in cyberspace. So here I go.... again.

I have been looking at a lot of weight loss blogs over the past few weeks trying to get ideas for what I would like to cover on this blog and what kind of system I will use. Then I started to over plan and over think and freak myself out. So I have decided to have a general guideline to follow with plenty of room for change and flexibility as needed.

I do have a few rules for myself that will hopefully help me stay sane and focused:

1. Remember Olivia, this is a journey to health not a scary obsession with being thin.
2. Approach this weight loss with a positive attitude, negativity has gotten you where you are which is why you need this blog.
3. Hold myself accountable. I make the decisions as to what I eat, drink and how I move or don't move.
4. Weigh myself only once a week.
5. Do some sort of physical activity everyday. Extensive workouts at least 3 times a week.
6. Take my measurements once a month.
7. Come up with a non-food based reward system for achieved weight loss goals.
8. Eat and prepare real food. No processed fake foods or sugar substitutes.
9. Focus on well rounded total health such as; vitamins, meditation, body treatments and plenty of restful sleep.
10. Most importantly: Have Fun! Enjoy this journey because this is your life NOW.

Since I do not own a scale and have no intentions of buying one I will be weighing myself at the gym which is yet another reason to get my butt there on the regular. I already have a tape measurer around here somewhere and as soon as I find it I will post my measurements.

See ya tomorrow!

Begin At The Beginning

(deep breath)

Here we go:

Step 1. Creating this blog

Step 2. Having the courage to put my stats up here for all the blogging world to see.

Step 3. Wrapping my head around the fact that I now have a weight loss blog.

Step 4. Breathe......

Step 5. Accept that I am finally ready, after 32 years, to find out why I am afraid and why I'm hiding beneath all of this weight.

Okay, that wasn't so scary. Now, taking the first step up this mountain? That's another story.