Falling Off The Wagon

I am really trying to hold it together right now. I am watching Biggest Loser and kicking myself repeatedly for falling off the wagon this weekend and this evening. I have had more sodas these past few days than I have in several months. I have had ice cream, pastries, fast food and large portions. I have slacked on my workouts, water intake and positive reinforcement. I know that this happens, I know that I am not alone but it doesn't make the hurt and disgust go away.

When will I effing find the combination for me?!?!?! When will it just click? Everyone I have read or known who has reached their goals had, at some point, a moment of clarity... a moment where it all seemed to finally click for them. I feel like I have been doing this forever. Oh wait! That's because I have been doing this forever. I have been on a "diet" since I was 8 years old. Why can't I just get out of my body's way? I know it has a voice but it's so buried under these heavy layers of fat that I can barely hear it.

I can work out. In fact I really love doing it. When I do it religiously I feel strong, confident and attractive. It's the food dang it! I don't seem to be getting it. WHY DO I HAVE THIS BLOCK?!

I want to be fit. I want to be healthy. I want to be beautiful. I want to be at peace with my body not at war with it.

I feel so lost right now.

What to do, what to do?

So my dearest, darlingest, bestest friend in the whole wide world, Elisa, bought me J'adore for my maid of honor gift. I love it!! I wear it on nights out, to work and sometimes just sometimes in my pj's. :) I can't get enough! But it does, however, leave me with a bit of a conundrum; what should be my 50lbs lost goal now? In fact I have no idea what to reward myself with after 30lbs lost. So here is where you all come in. Please leave a comment with any and all suggestions for rewards from 30 to 50lbs lost. I don't think I can manage thinking beyond that right now. Of course I have already decided what to do when I reach my weight loss end goal.

So pony up kiddies and keep those suggestions coming!!

See yas!

Busy, Busy Bee

Howdy! As the blog title says I have been one busy little bee. Which is such a positive thing and has been helping me tremendously with keeping on track. I have been working out about 4 times a week and doing A LOT of walking to and from work and other downtown destinations. I am hoping that it will reflect on the scale tonight. :)

My eating has been pretty good. I am still tweaking the portion fundamentals since I have become more active. I feel a little like Goldilocks trying to find the amount that is "just right." Some days 3 meals is sufficient but others, especially really active ones, I need at least one or two filling snacks. I still get certain cravings like mad but am trying my hardest to work through them and if by the end of one or two days I still want something, I'll have it but in a much smaller portion than before. Like today... I have been craving coffee for about 4 days so I got a tall cafe au lait instead of a grande. That coffee tasted soooo good because it was a long awaited for treat not an everyday expectation. I need to make another trip to the grocery store and stock up... it's been a while.

I absolutely love this time of year. The clothes, food, hot apple cider, leaves changing and my most favoritest of holidays..... Halloween! It also signifies the beginning of "eating season" and I am going to try my best to keep active enough that I don't go overboard. There are so many fun activities this time of year; apple harvest festivals, Highland games, fall hiking, the turkey trot and this weekend a super cool activity is going on. Obama and Biden are coming to the University of Mary Washington on Saturday to speak about change and guess who's gonna be there? ME!!! I seriously live within walking distance to the campus and provided I get off work on time I will be there bright and early for the line up. So exciting!!

Signing off until next time. Ciao!

Next Challenge

That's right I have a new challenge, one that I hope my friends and family will join me on. This Thanksgiving I am going to do the Family and Friends- YMCA Turkey Trot 5k Run! Now, I am not saying that I will RUN the entire 5k but I am gonna try to run as much of it as possible and power walk the heck out of the rest. You know what that means.... gotta step up the walking/running training. (gasp!) Plus this scares the poo out of me and I have been told by many different folks that you are supposed to challenge yourself to things that scare you a little. Well this scares me a lot! Plus, by doing this run/walk I can justify more calorie intake on Thanksgiving! YIPPEE!! Sweet Potato Casserole here I come!

YUM!!

Today I made this:

Oven Roasted Shrimp and Orzo Salad.

Which I got from this:

Amazing!!!

Kosher salt

Good olive oil

3/4 pound orzo pasta (rice-shaped pasta)

1/2 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice (3 lemons)

Freshly ground black pepper

2 pounds (16 to 18 count) shrimp, peeled and deveined

1 cup minced scallions, white and green parts

1 cup chopped fresh dill

1 cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley

1 hothouse cucumber, unpeeled, seeded, and medium-diced

1/2 cup small-diced red onion (I substituted red pepper)

3/4 pound good feta cheese, large diced

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
Fill a large pot with water, add 1 tablespoon of salt and a splash of oil, and bring the water to a boil. Add the orzo and simmer for 9 to 11 minutes, stirring occasionally, until it's cooked al dente. Drain and pour into a large bowl. Whisk together the lemon juice, 1/2 cup olive oil, 2 teaspoons salt and 1 teaspoon of pepper. Pour over the hot pasta and stir well.
Meanwhile, place the shrimp on a sheet pan, drizzle with olive oil, and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Toss to combine and spread out in a single layer. Roast for 5 to 6 minutes, until the shrimp are cooked through. Don't overcook!
Add the shrimp to the orzo and then add the scallions, dill, parsley, cucumber, onion, 2 teaspoons salt, and 1 teaspoon pepper. Toss well. Add the feta and stir carefully. Set aside at room temperature for 1 hour to allow the flavors to blend, or refrigerate overnight. If refrigerated, taste again for seasonings and bring back to room temperature before serving.

Pineapple Express

I would like to think that I am the type of person, when choosing a prize for a reached goal, that would pick something chic and cultured. Instead, this time, I wanted to laugh and forget about a rather crappy day. So I chose to take myself to see Pineapple Express. I was not disappointed. This movie was hysterical! James Franco is super delicious even as a stoner and Seth Rogen plays a fabulous straight man to James' silly one. Danny McBride also deserves mention for being freakin hilarious! I laughed so hard that I was wheezing and crying. If you just want to "go away" for a while then check this movie out. The fight scene at the end was a little much for me but hey, it's a movie for and about guys.

I Have Made My Next Goal!!!

*313.4*

Oh my geesh.... it has taken forever but I have finally reached my 10lb goal! You know what that means, MOVIE MOVIE MOVIE!! I get to take myself out on a date for a movie of my choosing. What to do? What to do? When to go? What to see? Wheeeeeee!!