Sunday, May 9, 2010

Dropping The Ball

Wowzers! Where did I go? It's been what, three weeks since I uttered a peep. Unacceptable.
I wish I had some amazing story of why I've been away for so long. You know, something wondrous like I was out tracking rogue lions in the African bush or helping my friend Anne install the Annie Leibovitz show at the Fotografiska Museum or sailing the Caribbean in a luscious yacht with a handsome Scottish billionaire. However, no... I have been doing none of those things. Sad. Face.

I have, however been working like crazy, dealing with car issues and watching a lot of Ruby. I know that many of you out there watch Ms. Ruby too. Well this seasons finale really got to me. If you haven't seen it, Ruby and some of her girlfriends from the group, Women's Fat Night, decided to undergo a 6 day intensive therapy program to really discover why they are over weight. It was a two hour special and extremely emotional. I really identified with Ruby's friend Joan who had the first breakthrough during the program. I have saved the show on my dvr since it was two hours of an emotional boot camp. I am planning to watch it again when I am alone (sands large good ole boy roommate) and I can truly fall into the emotions that their experiences brought up for me.

I have kind of flirted with this idea for a while and have said it half jokingly on many occasions but while watching this episode of Ruby and trying to be really honest with myself I now see that I really truly have an addiction to food. One that requires more help than I can provide myself. I have been researching the local Weight Watchers (out of my budget for now), looking at different versions of the 12 step program, support groups, food plans, workout plans... you name it and I have probably looked at it. One thing I did realize is that I need to be more honest with myself about my problems and weaknesses and that I really need to purge my feelings and thoughts on this here blog. Sometimes I worry too much about being funny or entertaining instead of just being honest.

The two weeks after my last post I was kicking some major booty on the workout front and averaging 5 days of workouts a week. I was also making my meals, not eating out and watching my portions. This past week saw all of those amazingly good things fly right out the window. I allowed my routine to dissolve because of some minor changes that needed to be made for this week. I really need to learn to roll with the punches, a few setbacks should not derail me so. One positive thing out of this week is that I really noticed the difference in how I feel. I have not slept through the night at all this week, I have had no energy, my skin revolted against me, my digestive track is most displeased and my internal lady parts are confused and unhappy.

This evening I am trying to reset my clocks, get super organized for the week and start the climb again.

What helps you get back on track?


leila said...

I read a blog called "" It has really helped me think about every single thing I put in my mouth. My life is ridonkulously stressful and busy these days but by changing my eating habits based on this blog, without any hardcore exercising (if I am lucky I can work out 2x a week) I have lost 18lbs since Christmas. I highly recommend the blog. The author, Mark Sisson, also has book out that I really like called "The Primal Blueprint".


Anonymous said...

Gurl, you are one of the strongest and most amazing people I know, and I have no doubt you will conquer this and become even more amazing and beautiful than you are now.

girlysmack said...

Do you keep a food journal? I know when I am trying to be good it helps me because I tend to "treat myself" waaaaay more often then I realize unless I write it all down.

PS My word verification is "worsups" which is perfect because I worsup you. Girl, you know it's true.

Anonymous said...

Erin, you crack me up! =)

Olivia said...

Leila, I have checked out his blog before but totally forgot about it. Thanks for reminding me. Congrats on the slow and gradual loss! That's the ticket! :)

GE, thank you so much for your words of encouragement. They mean a lot to me. :)

Girlysmack, I have started so many food journals but always seem to drop the ball on that as well. I am willing to give it another go though. I "worsup" you too. ;)

plussizequeen said...

I totally hear you, a lot of people think loosing weight is as easy as putting down the fork, but when you get into the habbit of eatting incorrectly and have been doing so it becomes an addiction, which like any addiction is hard to break.
Girlysmack's food jounrey idea is great, I do this and it made me relise when and where I go wrong in my diet (I tend to eat too much as night and skip breakfast)
Anyway I explore a few similar topics as you in my blog, if you want to check it out visit
It would be great to hear from you. Keep up the great work.
Becky- Fellow weight loss blogger

RLibby said...

Hi Olivia! Could you provide your email address? I'd love to email you personally. Thanks!