I Fell Off The Wagon And It Ran Over Me

But I'm am still here and hope to write a longer post soon.  How are you my lovelies? 

Wheeeee!

Down a total of 40.4 lbs as of yesterday.  This girl is going shopping......new work out bras, here I come!

Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability | Video on TED.com

Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability | Video on TED.com

This talk really spoke to me and I wanted to share it with you all.

I'm really struggling right now guys. Can't seem to push past ALMOST 40lbs lost. I have no desire to blog or do anything that requires major brain power or typing more than a few characters. Hence my obsession with Twitter and Facebook right now. So I am taking a break for a bit to try and get my stuff together.

Take care. :)

Little Ms. Cranky Pants

Hey guys.  *hides sheepish and apologetic grin*

So yeah, my last post was rather cranky wasn't it?  Sorry about that.....sometimes my temper gets the better of me.  Well, let me start by thanking everyone for their most helpful and might I add, AWESOME suggestions for my tracking allergy.  It's still a challenge for me but I am getting better at it.

I purchased a three month journal which I sometimes write in and sometimes I use my phone app to record but mostly I just went back to eating power foods.  I needed to reset my clock so to speak.  Well mission accomplished.  I feel inspired again.....I so needed that.  I happy to report that I am .6 (point six) of a pound away from 40lbs lost!!!  Super Squee!  Mother Nature is visiting so I have no doubt that next Tuesday's weigh in will be a good one as well.

I'm still working out.... a lot.  And I am really enjoying it.  It really does affect my mood in a very positive way.  However, I had to stop the C25K program due to a hip flexor injury.  I think that I am still too heavy to put that much pounding pressure on my joints.  I will rest for a month and then try again and see where I stand.

So how is the summer treating all of you?  :D

Better Late Than Never, Right? RIGHT?

Life has been busy and a little crazy but then again who's hasn't.  I wish I was a more consistent writer but I have been trying to work through some life issues that I won't be sharing on the world wide interwebs.  I'm not feeling very poetic or pithy this evening so I will do bullet points of my past three weigh ins:

• Weigh in on 5/17 up 2.4
• Weigh in on 5/24 down 1.8
• Weigh in on 5/31 down .6

See that lovely pattern there.  I'm trying to pass that hurdle.  Exercise is great and fun for me.  I am still doing the C25K program, Zumba, weights and now a core class.  Tracking, however, is the bane of my existence.  I am working at having a better outlook on it but it really truly is very much a struggle for me.  The thought of recording every single thing I put in my mouth drives me bonkers!  Oh well, I'll have to get over it some how.

Do you guys have any tips or tricks to make tracking easier or even to give me a better outlook on it?
HELP?

The Invitation

	Oriah Mountain Dreamer  Canadian Teacher and Author It doesn't interest me what you do for a living I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love for your dreams for the adventure of being alive. It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon... I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain mine or your own without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy mine or your own if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful be realistic to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure yours and mine and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes." It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children. It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

Update Coming Soon

Pinky swear!

I'm Watching 'Pretty In Pink' While I Write This

In my humble opinion Andie should have chosen Duckie but if it were me I would have totally gone after James Spader's character, Steff.  He's dirty hot.  Okay, now that that point of business has been resolved, how y'all doin?

Things have been interesting around these here parts.  My last post I was being attacked by allergies and yesterday I was bitten by a dog while jogging.  It was super fun.  It sounds more dramatic than it really is.  I had to file a report with Animal Control, make a visit to the Doc, get a tetanus shot and now I wait.  The owners have made no attempt to return my call or the calls from the Health Department and Animal Control.  I just hope that I don't have to go to small claims court.  I doubt the judge would be as cool as Judge Judy.

So yes, I have included the Couch 2 5K program into my workout routine.  I really like it.  It's really hard but I like it.  I'm not a runner, never have been but this program makes running more attainable.  Many of you out there have already done this or are currently doing this program and after reading many of your wonderful reviews I decided to give it a try.  I'm still Zumba-ing away and have also included a weight lifting class as well.  The allergies and dog bite not withstanding, I feel pretty darn good.

I didn't weigh in the week I was sick but last Tuesday I was down 1 lb and yesterday I was down 1.6.  Slow and steady....very,very,very slow and steady.  Total of 35.6 lost so that means I got a pedicure!  My toes are a lovely shade of purple, just in time for spring.

I just hope that nothing catastrophic happens before next Tuesday's weigh in.  What's next?  Locusts? 
Have a good week!  :D

No Weigh In This Week

Because I am sick as a D.O.G..  Will post once I can breath through my face.

I Turned 35 Today

Which is proving a lot harder to deal with than 30.  I'm not sure why but there it is.  However, I have a had a very lovely and low-key day.  I worked out, ate well, played Mario Kart with my mother (hilarious!) and went to WW.  I am up 3lbs this week.  I have to say that I am pretty perplexed with this.  I worked out four days last week and both yesterday and today.  My eating has been on point and even though I had a rockin bowling bday party on Saturday I ate very little and didn't drink nearly as much as I thought.  So yeah, not really sure what is going on.

Maybe my body is trying to balance a few things out, maybe aunt flow is coming to town early, maybe Jupiter is aligned with Mars....I don't know.  What I DO know is that I am gonna keep on keepin on because I feel really good.  Working out and eating real whole foods is what my body likes....up 3lbs or not.

Most importantly I would like to thank my friends, family and you, dear readers, for making yet another year so very special and fun.  Mwuah!

Shock

I did it!  I actually did it.  I reached and went beyond my 10% weight loss goal.  At this Tuesday's weigh in I was down 6 lbs!!!  I am still in shock.  So with that 6 pounds I have officially lost 36 lbs, reached my 10% goal and, most important to me. I am below 300 lbs!  In fact I am at 296.6, my lowest weight (that I am aware of) since high school. 

This was just the kick I needed and one that I hope will stay with me for a very long time.  I've been thinking about HOW I lost 6lbs this week and I think I have figured out a few things:

1. I had significantly smaller portions last week
2. I worked out 4 days
3. The gentle colon cleanse I have been doing has finally started to work
4. I drank a lot of water and hot lemon water (to help kick out some of the sinus stuff I've had)
5. Most importantly, I was finally tired of gaining and losing the same 5 lbs since January

I am still struggling with tracking but I'm getting there.  I don't want to jinx anything so I won't wax poetic about how different things are gonna be from now on or how I wont every slip again because, let's face it, this is a journey and there is nothing perfect or sure about a journey.  However that doesn't make it any less amazing or exciting to travel.

Let's See...

where were we?  Oh, that's right!  The last time I checked in here with my weight I was up (point eight).  So the week after that I was up 1.2 then down 1.4 then this past Tuesday's weigh in I was up again (point 6).  Can anyone say "self sabotage?"  Gee, I wonder who's afraid to go below 300?  THIS GIRL and I am still trying to figure out why.

I don't even know what to say.  I feel guilty, I feel I should apologize to everyone....even though I know that's silly but I do. 

I'm just gonna keep pluggin along, which is difficult with a raging sinus/allergy infection but I'm not giving up.  No matter what.

Perspective

I would like to stray from my usual narcissistic posts about my weight issues and my whining and crying about my lack of self control and discipline and focus instead on taking a moment to reflect on the tragic circumstances in Japan.

I won't pretend to shed any new light on the situation.  I won't act as if my thoughts on this horrific turn of events are any more deep and profound than anyone else's.  However I will say this, my heart is breaking for this amazingly beautiful country and it's amazingly beautiful people.  My frustration over not being able to do more to help is palpable. 

So I do what I can; donate to the appropriate non-profits, send Japan love and light...and pray.

No, It's Cool.....No Pressure

Up (point eight) .8 lbs at this weeks weigh in.  Soooooo close...so darn close.  It's cool, I'm not as upset as I thought I might be.  I knew that this past weekend was gonna be a tricky one since it was my friends bday extravaganza in Richmond.  There were cocktails, fancy hotels, delicious seafood and a comedy club.  And you know what?  I wouldn't trade a moment of this weekend for a loss.  I had the best darn time and I loved every minute of it.  :)

The Illusionist

Please, please, please do yourselves a favor and see this lovely film.  It's by the same people who did Triplets of Belleville.  It unfortunately didn't stand a chance against Toy Story 3 for the Oscar due to popularity more than deservedness, in my humble opinion.  It's heart warming and heart wrenching all at the same time.  Also, BONUS, it's mostly set in Scotland.  Sigh....

I've Had A Crap Day

but so far this week has been pretty good.  Tuesday's weigh in has me down another 2lbs.  *big cheesy smile*  That makes 31.2lbs lost.  Yay....iTunes reward!  I've been waiting for this one.  I have a list of music that I have been waiting to purchase.  I'm so excited and so nervous because if I lose 1.8lbs this upcoming week I will be at my 10% goal.  What's even more amazing is that WHEN I make my 10% goal I will also, for the first time since high school, be below 300lbs.  For the first time in 17 years.  Ohmysweetlord!  Feeling old moment.  Oy.

Alright, I'm back.  I won't bore you with the tedious details of my less than stellar day but let's just say that the icing on the poop cake was a lovely tangle with the law.  And by tangle I mean I got my first traffic ticket.  Over something lame I might add.   Okay, I'm done cryin'.

How has your week been?

Clock Has Hopefully Been Reset

Hi Guys!  M.I.A much?  I have really good reasons for not posting: working A LOT, exercising, trying to get my head together, blah blah blah.  I really do feel like a broken record sometimes.  Okay, so let's get to it.  I did not weigh in last Tuesday but I did go to the meeting and it did help....very much.  The whole week has been very busy with work, social and family obligations and gym time.  So I didn't have too much time to spend thinking about my frustrations with weight. 

Then Saturday hit and my body decided that it didn't want to work for me anymore.  I guess that I exhausted myself with physical stress as well as emotional stress.  My appetite disappeared and I slept more than I have in a really long time.  I am feeling better now, not quite myself yet but I hope that having a day off today, which included a pedicure and facial, will help.  It's back to the grind tomorrow.  Two packed work days, a bday dinner, a friends musical and then an Oscar party on Sunday.  Please send me your good vibes and strength to keep on track this weekend.  I really don't want to derail myself....especially since I am down 5.2 lbs this week!!!!!!!!!  I almost tooted when they told me how much I was down on Tuesday!  That's only .8 (point eight) away from 30 pounds lost.  It has taken for freakin' ever. 

I started WW the end of May last year.  So in about three months it will be a year that I have been on the program.  I am struggling with feeling very frustrated with my progress.  I, of course, pictured myself at least 50-75lbs down around this time.  Don't get me wrong, I am proud of what I have accomplished but I also know that I wasn't as focused and diligent about my weight loss as I could have been.  In fact I sometimes feel that I have been a little lazy about it BUT then I remember how hard and long it takes to break bad life habits and create healthy new ones.  Are my mood swings as confusing for you as they are for me?

Okay, before I sign off I would like to take the opportunity to thank you all again for your amazing support, kind words and helpful suggestions.  I may not update often, or comment but I do read all of them and they mean so very much.  So big ole hugs and sloppy kisses to you!  :D

I Don't Know What To Say

Hey there folks.  I don't really have a lot to say for this post.  I am hugely discouraged with my past two weigh ins.  Tuesday of last week I was up 2lbs and this past Tuesday I was up .2 lbs (point two).  I have been exercising, cut back on the alcohol, practicing portion control, trying to eat intuitively etc. etc. etc.  I really don't know what is going on.  I'm thinking that it may be hormonal but I just don't know. 

So I have decided to skip my weigh in on Tuesday.  I will still attend the meeting (because I love them) but I will use my first ever no weigh pass.  I just can't stand the idea of seeing yet another gain while I am working so very hard.  So I am takin' a break!  I will concentrate on letting go of the feelings of anger and guilt, rejoice in the fact that I am smaller inches wise and I am down two pants sizes.  Thank You Zumba!

What do you folks do to reset your weight loss clock?

At least it's not a gain....

Down 1 lb this week.  Don't get me wrong I am glad it is a loss but after being up the past two weigh ins and working out at least 4-5 times a week I am disappointed that it's not more.  I was even floating under the illusion that since I was working out that I was gaining muscle but our last WW meeting put that myth to rest. 

I'm not giving up but I am very frustrated.  I have been playing around on the WW site, entering in my activity points, trying to find new recipes and to become inspired instead of insulted (darn you scale!)  There are a few things I can think of that may be giving me issue; I may be eating too many carbs and not enough veggies and protein, I'm having some "female" issues that may or may not be adding fuel to the fire or my body is just trying to find a balance since I am changing my routines.  It really isn't as cut and dry as they make it seem on Biggest Loser (which I stopped watching 2 years ago.)

So there you have it.  Not my peppiest post but then I am not feeling very peppy right now.

WTH

or What the Heck.  I'm up .8 (point 8) this week.  Ugh!  I am a little confused because I worked out at least 5 times last week.  Yes, my eating could have been better (it can always be better) but I really feel that I did well last week.  Well, there was one night when I went to watch a salsa band play and there may or may not have been a couple dirty martinis in the mix as well as a few shots but I'm really not sure nor should I be held accountable for them. 

Okay, got the "princess" out of my system.  The alcohol is more than likely the culprit.  Let's face it, it's usually the culprit behind any gain I have.  To test my theory I am not "tying one on" at all this weekend, I have worked out every day this week, my eating has been fabulous (lots of fruits and veggies) so we will see where that lands me on the scale.  It better land me a lose Dammit!

How is everyone doing on their workouts?

Zumba-tastic!

I believe I am in love....again.  Why oh why did I ever stop Zumba-ing??  Yes, I'm sure that some of my enthusiasm is due to the fact that I am still very much in the honeymoon stage with my membership but you know what?  I don't care!  I am having way to much fun to care.  Now, I know that you may worry that I have tunnel vision and only care for Zumba but I say "Nay!", I am also crushing on yoga, muscle pump and restorative stretch.  I am still a little shy when it comes to saying "Hi" to the core classes but as my self confidence improves I'm sure I will have the courage to sit at the cool core's lunch table.

I am up .6 (point six) as of my weigh in on Tuesday but like Fat Bridesmaid I too am gonna hold Mother Nature accountable. 

Well Folks....

I did it.  I joined the YMCA last Sunday and have already been 3 times.  Plus, I was down 4 lbs at Tuesday's weigh in.  Squeeeee!  I am battling a wee head cold or sinus trouble right now but I am hoping to feel better soon so that I may take full advantage of all the lovely Zumba classes the Y is offering.

This is my last week as a full time employee of the spa.  Sure I will fill in from time to time but I feel that now is well past the time for me to really focus on making my business a success.  Wish me luck!

How was everyone's New Years?  Let's just say that Mario Kart played a large part in mine.