ZOINKS!!!!

Woo Hoo!!!

*315.9*

Yes my friends I have FINALLY reached one of my goals. So far I have lost 7.5 lbs which means I can finally buy my first treat, nail polish! I am also well on my way to my next prize... treating myself to a movie.

Even though I weighed myself today instead of Tuesday (cause I haven't been to the gym since last Tuesday), I had a feeling that I would be able to record a loss. I tried to chill out about the whole weight loss thing and just concentrated on trying to eat right and even when I slipped I didn't beat myself up over it. I worked like a mad dog this week and I think that had something to do with it plus Aunt Flow went back home after an extremely annoying visit.

This was just the boost I needed to keep my positive energy flowing and to get me excited about working out again.

Thanks for all of your words of encouragement. They mean the world to me! :)

Picking Myself Back Up, One Fat Roll At A Time

Last Wednesday until right now I have been throwing myself one hell of a pity party. It began with my very discouraging weigh in on Tuesday night and was kicked up a notch by the worst "female issues" I've had since high school over fourteen years ago. In fact Sir Cramp A Lot has been with me for 5 whole days and nights and has caused me to be a major Grumpy Gus. My emotions have been rivaling Sybil and my "unhealthy" food cravings have become an obsession. However the worst part was that I just said "F*uck It!" and gave up......completely.

Until now. After a nice dose of self disappointment and condemnation something snapped. So I have decided to get over myself and get back to work. I owe a large part of this focus to the amazing weight loss blogs that I read and to the bestest friend a girl could ever have, Elisa. Who, btw, is also embracing her thin side. Yes, that's right folks, we are not fighting the fat, we are embracing our fit and healthy bodies. My fit and healthy body has been asleep like Rip Van Winkle since, well, forever. But Elisa knows what it feels like to be fit and healthy and full of energy because she got there. I find her such an amazing inspiration because when she is healthy and happy there is NOTHING IN THE WORLD that can stop her.

So here I go.....again. After I finish this post I am heading to the grocery store to stock up on all the healthy foods and beverages that my body wants but that I have been to mean to give it. With a stocked fridge it will be harder for me to rationalize quick, high fat and nutritionally empty foods. It may even help me save on the moolah front too. I know that I wont make it to the gym today but I will definitely be there tomorrow for hip hop dance class. I may even join my friend Adrienne for Pitayo before hand and then the dance class. I know, I am too crazy!

Be Good To Yourself. I know I am trying to.

4th Weigh In

Weight: 319.7

Loss of .8lbs

DAMN IT!!!!

Time Flies.....When Your Super Busy

Sorry.
I honestly don't know where the week went. I had to work everyday last week except Sunday which was spent at my Dad's house for Father's Day and my step sisters bday. I think I was over there for over 8 hours and by 10pm last night I was so tired that I couldn't see straight.

So I took today off to catch up. I shopped, got an oil change, spent quality time with my best friend and made the most wonderful fruit salad. I have started to notice that my energy level has dramatically increased since I upped my workouts. I went to the gym 4 times last week even though my workload had tripled. I believe that my workouts were the main reason that I had the energy to get through last week. That and the fact that I have been upping my vitamin intake with Mona Vie. I am still working on my diet. Some days are better than others and overall I think last week was the best so far. I am going to try to top it with this week. I started off on the right foot today by having a very good food day.

My goal is to workout at least four days this week too. I may even get crazy and try for five. :) The temperature is supposed to be really nice the next few days so I may even have the opportunity to walk the track at my local park. I have a few social engagements later this week and this weekend so it will be a true test of my abilities to make good decisions in a setting that I can't control.

Today, while hanging out with Elisa, we went on line to look at all of the excursions we can do on the cruise. There are at least 3 that I really want to do that have weight restrictions of 250. I tried not to be discouraged because that means that I will need to lose over 75 pounds by December 13. Right now that seems impossible. Especially since I am only losing about 1-2 pounds a week. So I am gonna try.....that's all I really can do.

Well, the weekly weigh in is tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Adios!

Weigh In # 3

Weight: 320.5-- loss of 1.1lbs.

Okay, so I am still losing although not as much as I thought I would. Granted I did a lot of social things this past weekend and my control may not have been what it should have but I worked out A LOT. Shouldn't that at least show on the scale.....more than 1.1lbs worth?

It is abundantly clear that I really need to get this diet thing under control because I am really getting frustrated that I work so hard at the gym and then completely undo it at the table. So skinless chicken breasts and veggies, Here I Come! I am going to attempt a "no carbs after 3pm" thing. Please, pray for my will power.

Except for the pitiful weight loss my week has been going really well. I have been really busy with work which is a blessing since I need the heavier cash flow. Hopefully since I have been working so hard I will finally have the extra cash to go grocery shopping. My cupboards and fridge are pathetically bare. I have been eating out a lot more lately but I am trying to make healthier choices. Eating at locally owned restaurants instead of chains but if I do eat at a chain I try to stick to their healthier options. I don't always succeed but I try.

So let's see what my goals are for this week: exercise...check, no bad carbs after 3pm....check and more fruits and veggies....check!

See ya later alligator!

Down On Me

I feel really lost right now, really disappointed and very weepy. Why do I continue to quit on myself? I just started this damn change and already I have made excuses, felt bad about myself on numerous occasions and almost given up a couple of times. I feel so weak right now.

I love to work out, that is not my problem but when it comes to the diet I have absolutely no discipline. I love food. I love to cook and bake. I love discussing food and wine and anything involving the culinary arts. I love to watch the Food Network. My other blog has mostly links to other food blogs. I envy those people a lot. I envy people who can have a healthy love of food and wine and still maintain a healthy lifestyle. I want their carefree attitude about food and life in general.

I have traveled to Europe on three different occasions in my life, which is a whole different problem ( cause I haven't been able to travel there more.) I long for the European approach to the pleasures in life. They absolutely do not agonize over every little calorie or gram of fat. They don't apologize for making their meals an occasion to be celebrated and remembered. I also admire the flavors of the Orient and how Asia has raised their gastronomic adventures to an art form.

My major problem is that, on most occasions, I wait until I am ravenous to begin my quest for food. That usually leads me to make bad decisions and thus the cycle continues. I know that claiming to be super busy is only one of many excuses I use to give up on myself. I could make my meals ahead of time and freeze them portioned and everything. But do I? No. Do you want to know the reason why? Because I just don't want to have to deny myself something if I want it. I just want to be able to work out a lot, eat whatever I want and just lose weight. Alas that will just have to continue being my fantasy since we all know that's not how it works.

One of the things I am trying to change about myself is to be more pro-active. Since I have been hating on myself the past couple of days I decided to go to the gym on a Saturday night and swim. I watched two episodes of Biggest Loser reruns then I went to the grocery store and bought some skinless chicken breast, milk and kashi cereal. I already have potatoes, green beans and zucchini from my stop at the farmers market on Tuesday. So tomorrow I will have a healthy breakfast, choose wisely when I meet my friend for lunch at my favorite restaurant and then try to control myself at my friends going away party at Cheeseburger in Paradise. I love their mojitos! I WILL go to the gym tomorrow and then come home and make myself a healthy and nutritious dinner. Plus, I will blog about my day that evening so that I don't leave you all hanging about my progress.

For those of you out there struggling with the same problems, please leave me a comment on what you do to get yourself out of a slump.

Ta!

2nd Weigh In

Okay, here it is. My first weigh in: 321.6. That's a loss of 1.8lbs!! Yay!! An actual loss! Granted it is not as large as I was hoping but I think we all know that my eating was not it's best this first week. I hope to get to the grocery story sometime this week to stock up on healthy cheap foods ( thanks for the suggestions Lorrie!).

I went to hip hop dance class tonight and thought I was gonna actually pass out. I think it was a combination of things, not enough water throughout the day, it was hotter than three hells in the room and Aunt Flow is seriously kicking my ass. The class was still fun but my near death experience was not ( insert eye roll due to over dramatizing here).

My goal for next Tuesday's weigh in is to increase my weight loss by 4 pounds. Yeah, that's right, I am gettin' crazy here and pushing for a 5 or 6 lb lost for next week.

My exercise goal is to work out at least4 days this week.

My food goal is to eat more fruits and vegetables.

Later Taters!

Gateful

I have decided after watching Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life for like the billionth time that I am going to start putting up on my sidebar someone or something that I am grateful for everyday. I know that by doing this it will help me to focus more intently on the positive which is how I want to approach my journey to health. :)

Maybe by doing this I can stop focusing on what I want "to lose" and help me appreciate more of what I have gained. For instance tonight I have a date with the scale at my gym. Once that is through I will be enjoying a hip hop dance class. I am thankful that I belong to a gym that I actually like.

What are you grateful for?

Weekend In Review

Saturday was the day from hell. I started the day off with a nasty message from one of my bosses on my voicemail. Sweet. Then I get to work and the last therapist hadn't cleaned up the hot stones from the day before and I needed them for my first session. That put me way behind which, I am sad to say, set a nasty tone for my day. I got into a fight with my best friend over something silly during my lunch break. Because I was so upset from that and the fact that my client took their sweet time leaving I wasn't able to eat anything. I had only had 3 sausage cheese balls for breakfast.

So I finished up my work day and headed home to scrounge up a snack before a much needed shower. I was to meet some friends at Chipotle for dinner before seeing Sex and the City and I didn't want to run late but I also wanted to get rid of my low blood sugar headache. Isn't it amazing how a shower can make everything seem better? Needless to say the night drastically improved, the movie was awesome and it was great hanging out with my girls.

Sunday Aunt Flow came for a visit which prevented my sleeping in. Grrr.......
I did however have lunch with my friend David, who I hadn't spent time with in over 2 years. It was really awesome to catch up. He is getting married in the fall to a fantastic girl who keeps him in line. ;) We had Vietnamese food which I love but the restaurant wasn't very good. Oh well.

After that I came back to my apartment to meet up with my BFF so we could discuss what happened on Saturday. It was such a wonderful talk, emotional, but wonderful. I really love that girl to bits! :) After our heart to heart I was really hungry but unfortunately a huge thunderstorm blew in and cut off power for a while which was super annoying. All I really wanted was a Papa Johns sausage cheese pizza and a coke (emotional eater much?) but of course every pizza joint in town had lost their power as well. After an hour of trying to find some place that was open I finally ordered a Hawaiian pizza and Dr. Peppers for me and the roomie. I had decided to pick it up since it would take less time and I was uber hungry. Did you know that I still had to wait a half hour when I went to pick the dang thing up? Sigh.

I finally made it home, ate and began to relax. I cleaned up my room, got organized for Monday and then read a book. Today was much better than the previous days before. I was able to release some of the anger and emotions I had been storing the day before and now I feel pretty good. In all of my reflecting this weekend I came to the realization that I need two days off a week. I was really starting to get burned out and now I have more time for me and more time to focus on my health and my game plan.

I am intending that the next few posts will be happier ones. Who wants to read about a grumpy Gus all the time?

Oh yeah and there is that date I have with a scale tomorrow. Wish me luck!