Tuesday, May 5, 2009


You know how you can have certain days when you think you look really cute and you think to yourself, "Hey, I am not the beast I thought I was." And you can float on those good feelings for a couple of days, live your life as happy as you can and tra-la-la all over the place. That is until you see something like this:

Yep, that's me in the oh so flattering lime green shirt. Yeah... me.....next to the normal sized people. Then it hits you, I am not okay. I have a problem.....I am NOT healthy. It's funny how certain angles in a mirror or shop window can fool you into thinking that you look smaller than you really are and then WHAM! reality knocks you right on your well padded bottom.

Well this past weekends activities did that for me. Believe me there are many more very unflattering photos of my self and a video or two that left me teary eyed and extremely embarrassed. Then I start thinking to myself, "GOD! No wonder people look at me weird when I say I am a massage therapist who is really into the healing arts and alternative medicine." Then I start to imagine what must be going through my clients heads when I suggest stretches and exercises that will help them manage their pain. Oy.

When blows like this happen it hits my brain into overdrive and I nearly drive myself crazy trying to analyze and reanalyze what I should do. Then I get frustrated and confused because I already have so much useful and useless information stored in there about every diet on the face of the earth. At some point during my over thinking fits I freak, cry and then shut down. Am I alone in this? Do other people feel this way or am I a weirdo?

After much meditation, prayer and silence I decided to see what my intuition (not my ego) would decide was the best course of action. I slept on it, got up the next day did my usual morning routine and checked my email. While I was waiting for my email to load it hit me: I should focus on balancing my body, making sure that all of my systems are in check and healthy. Well, in my inbox was one of the many updates that I get from Louise Hay's Hay House Publications. If you have never heard of Louise Hay, please do yourself a favor and check out her book, YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE. Absolutely wonderful! Anyway in my inbox was an announcement of a new book called THE CORE BALANCE DIET by Marcelle Pick. Has anyone heard of this book or tried it? Please leave a comment if you have. I am very interested in giving it a try. It's all about balancing your body's systems and allowing it to come to a state of harmony, which is what health is really.

I haven't bought it yet because I wanted to see if any of you out there in bloggerland has read the book or tried something similar.

Let's move on to the rest of the day. :)

Yesterday, after the gym, I came home for a very veggie dinner:

Mixed green salad with avocado, almonds, canned tuna, and organic ranch dressing with a little french thrown in for flavor.

A bowl of amazing butternut squash soup by Campbell's.

It was very delicious and very satisfying.

This morning I had my usual for breakie! Lordy how I lurve bananas and peanut butter.

I hope to post lunch and dinner pics tonight but I have a busy afternoon and evening scheduled. Plus Biggest Loser is on tonight.
Check ya later!


brookesballbuster said...

Please don't be so hard on yourself. You are really beating yourself up about 1 bad picture, we all have bad pictures! Try to stay positive:) We are all works in progress and remember that you need to focus on the progress that you've made thus far.

Kym said...

I highly recommend Jillian Michaels' new book, Master Your Metabolism. And you're already on your way because I noticed alot of organics in your recent posts! Her book is very similar to what you described that other book to be.

Acting Skinny said...

Don't be so hard on yourself!
Not that I'm not hard on myself some days. Not that I don't look at pictures of myself some days and go "Wow. This is awful."

Think of your mind as a garden. And the negative thoughts are weeds. And they always come up just when you think you've gotten rid of them and at the worst times too. But you have to keep getting them out, otherwise your garden will be filled with them.

Use pictures you don't like as inspiration. Print them out, put them on your wall and tell yourself you can do better than that.
Now that I'm done being Ghandi...Feel better and good luck with everything!

Wildflower said...

Anyone who knows you sees your beauty and vivaciousness, which I was in awe of even the first time we met. Everyone envies other people for things, but we all have issues even if they are not visible. You are not alone.

You may enjoy my friend's blog:

And, you may be interested in my herbalist's work. I did the biological terrain testing and it helped me learn what parts of my body need more support and need balance. It's always helpful to have a guiding hand, and this one can have a conversation!

Aunt of 14 said...

You know, I have those moments ALL THE TIME. In the mirror I think I look at least decent... My pants make me look a little thinner maybe... then I see a picture that someone took and everything just comes crashing down. I HATE IT. I try so hard not to have my picture taken unless I have control over it.

I too am a fan of Louise Hays... and Sylvia Browne. I will have to check that book out that you mentioned... :) Just wanted to say hey, I know what you're saying...

Fit Fabulous 40's Flab Free said...

You wrote

"At some point during my over thinking fits I freak, cry and then shut down. Am I alone in this? Do other people feel this way or am I a weirdo?"

No I don't think you are a weirdo. I feel like that a lot of the time.

I went from 160kgs to 118kgs (now back to 124kgs) because I got comfortable and thought I was slim when in reality I am not and so started relaxing and then saw a picture and realised I am still fat but not as fat. All I wanted to say was OMG I understand.

Jacqueline said...


I've read Core Balance Diet and loved it! I am actually googling tonight just to see what other women think. I know you haven't read it yet, but if like Louise Hay and other Hay House books, you will love this book. I thought it was a bit more mind-body than Jillian Michaels' book and that was perfect for me. Here are a few links --
amazon review - http://www.amazon.com/Core-Balance-Diet-Metabolism-Weight/product-reviews/1401922015/ref=cm_cr_pr_link_2?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=0&pageNumber=2&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending (scroll down for mine, written by Jacqueline Tourville)

Interview with the author -- Inside the Core Balance Diet — an interview with author Marcelle Pick
Whatever diet you follow, good luck!