Ummm...yeah.

Weigh in tonight was not good. Up a whole 5 pounds. Not good at all but then again I didn't expect it to be.  I went completely off the grid Christmas week.  I ate what I wanted, how much I wanted.  I didn't track a GD thing.  I didn't exercise at all and I ate out more last week than I have the whole month of November combined.  And my body feels awful for it.  My digestive track hates me.  I have a constant headache and a possible cold coming on.  How did I walk around like this for so long and think that it was normal to feel this way?

In tonight's WW meeting we talked about setting achievable small goals for the new year that will lead to our desired outcome.  I have been thinking about mine.  I want to come up with a few that will help me get back on track.  I am joining my local YMCA.  They have a branch right near my house and one right near my office.  Hard to justify not going when I pass two different branches every dang day.  I have come up with two small goals that I hope will help me bridge this gap between 20 and 30 pounds lost.

1.  Track everything that goes into my mouth.  If I bite it, I write it.  I have to take ownership of what I put into my body.

2. Work out three times a week for at least 30 minutes.  To be completely honest, I miss it.  I miss the dance classes and the elliptical machines and the weights but I miss that kick ass feeling of accomplishment most of all.

So, now that I have shared some of mine, what are your goals for the New Year?

Merry Christmas!

This is gonna be a super short one.  At Tuesday's WW meeting I was down .8 (point 8).  Those point eights are gonna kill me.  :)

I hope that everyone has a warm, healthy and safe holiday.  Now I must dash since Pretty In Pink is back on my hotel room tv.

Later taters!

Tracking Does Work

Hello everyone!  Cutting right to the chase, Tuesday's weigh in was lovely: down 1.8 lbs!  That's with four social engagements involving food and booze.  Needless to say I am tracking this week as well.  I have noticed that I have been craving hearty comfort foods lately so Aunt Flo can't be far behind.  I am trying to keep my momentum through the holidays and then hit the turbo boosters once the new year comes around. 

I have to work most of the weekend except Sunday when I will be magically whisked away to a land of ice, princesses and make believe.  Yes, yours truly will be attending Disney's Princesses on Ice with my four year old niecykins.  I know that the jealousy abounds. 

Anyone else out there yet to do their Christmas shopping or am I all alone?  I may try on Tuesday.....pray for me.

Struggling

Happiness is different from pleasure. Happiness has something to do with struggling and enduring and accomplishing.   - George A. Sheehan

 

Hey there.  How's everyone doing?  For those of you on Weight Watchers, how is the new Pointplus system treating you?

 

Me, I'm struggling a bit but not because of the new system.  No, my struggling has been going on long before the launch on November 29th.  I was up .8 (point eight) on Tuesday while everybody and their mother (at my meeting) was down in weight and super excited about the new program.  I felt awful.  So I went home, did a lot of thinking and crying, some internet research and watched a little Firefly (Nathan Fillion is the perfect medication for the blues.)  I have pretty much decided to join a gym.  The YMCA to be precise but I am gonna be frugal and wait to see if they offer a new year deal.  So during the waiting period before then and to get me through the holidays I am going to pick up my walking, maybe take a jazzercise class or two and TRACK MY DAILY POINTS INTAKE LIKE A DANG CHAMPION!

 

So far I am kicking tushy on the tracking part.  I am being really diligent since I have FOUR (!) social engagements this week that are centered around food and wine.  Wine was my downfall last week what with three Christmas parties. I don't want it to continue to throw me off course.  So I shall eat plenty of fresh fruits and veggies to stave of hunger on the days I know I wont be able to control whats available for food.

Wish me luck because I am wishing it for you too.  :))  My smiley face has a double chin....for now.  ;))

Batting Zero

...on regular blog posts aren't I?  I hope that everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving.  I know I certainly did and the 2.6 pounds I gained over last week proved it.  I had lost .6 (point 6) pounds the week before that so I am still hovering between 25- 30 pounds lost.  I have been struggling staying interested in WW's program so thank goodness they launched their new Points Plus program.  I am really excited about it and feel as if my batteries have recharged and that my head is back in the game.

I do have two Christmas parties to go to this weekend so I have had a nice long talk with myself and decided to try to make the best possible choices, imbibe without going overboard and try to enjoy my friends and the season.  Next Tuesday will let me know how well I did.

I am playing around with the idea of a temporary gym membership.  I don't want anything long term because we all know how well that worked out with my last go around with Globo Gym and it's three year membership.  Plus, I get bored easily and need to constantly challenge myself with different things.  I have been playing around with the Couch 2 5k that has been sweeping the weight loss blogging world.  I've been looking for Zumba classes in my area (non available without a gym membership) and I know I need to pick the yoga back up.  My old bones are starting to feel the ravages of time.

Anyone else out there super behind on even thinking about what to get peeps for Christmas?

The Weather Today Is Enchanting.....

.... and I am sure it has something to do with being down 2.6 lbs this week.  :)  I am really happy with that, especially with all the stressful situations I have encountered the last couple of weeks but I am as settled in to my new place as I can be.  The situation is not ideal but I think it will work for now.  At least until I get my own place. 

So, I never purchased new workout clothes for my 25lbs lost.  Instead I purchased new everyday clothes for my trip to Denver.  It was so lovely walking up to that counter with clothes that were several sizes smaller.  I will be revisiting my rewards system and moving a few things around because there are some rewards I want sooner than others (read: brat).  But I feel I deserve to exercise the right to change my mind.  As we know that is a woman's prerogative...wink wink.

I have been extremely rude and not asked how you all have been doing.  So.... How ya doin?

Whodathunkit?

I actually lost the 1.2lbs I gained the previous week.  So still holding strong at 25 lbs down.  Now, to push on from here......

Radio Silence

Hello Friends!  I don't even know where to begin. The past three weeks have been insane.  Here is a bullet point synopsis of what has been going on:

• Wedding on 10/15/10
• Left for Colorado on 10/18/10 (my trip will get it's own post)
• Finally made it back home from Colorado at 3:30am on 10/26/10, then went to work later that day
• Halloween festivities (and those darn sneak cocktails!) resulting in a 1.2lb gain at my next weigh in.  :(
• Monday 11/1/10 my roommate tells me he is moving his girlfriend and her kids in on Friday 11/05/10 (when I asked him to give me this week and next week to move my things out grrrrrrrr....)
• Worked all week, packed all week, got a storage unit and u-haul
• Saturday morning/early afternoon went wedding dress and maid of honor dress shopping with one of my besties.
• Saturday afternoon/evening moved from one house to the other
• Sunday finished unloading the u-haul, took things to storage and then unpacked my whole life.
• Monday I cleaned, worked and (praise!) got a massage
• Working everyday this week including Sunday.

Needless to say I am pretty pooped and very emotional.  I have been feeling so many different things and all at the same time.  Arrrgggghhhh!  I have my weigh in tonight and am pretty sure I gained.  There was some emotional eating involved this weekend. 

On the plus side I have gone to the grocery store and stocked up on low point healthy foods.  I may even be able to squeeze in a couple of walks so I can lose the weight I have put on the past couple of weeks.  I have some thinking to do and new routines to get used to but I know I will make it through and be an even better person for it.

Quick One

We are under a tornado watch, the weather is crazy and I lost .4 (point four) pounds on vacation.  BOOYAH!

Rocky Mountain High

Hey kids!  Not gonna be posting much this week since I am frolicking away in Colorado.  But I will most definitely catch up with you once I return.

Holla!

Back On Track

Down 4.4 lbs this week.  Which means I am officially down 25 lbs!  I was determined to get back on track.  Especially since I leave for Colorado next Monday.  I am still deciding on whether to find a meeting while I am out there or really just enjoy the first real vacation I have had in a while.  Hmmm...

Well 25 down means new workout clothes.  I know I definitely need a new sports bra but what else?  :)

A Book Review By A Non-Book Reviewer

A few months ago the above author contacted me about reviewing her book.  She saw that I really admired Louise Hay and other similar teachers and thought that I might enjoy her book.

Now let me begin by saying that I am not a professional book reviewer, in fact this is probably the first one I have ever done.  So please keep in mind that these are just my opinions and thoughts.  Okay, here we go!

I really wish I could say that I loved this book.  The ideas behind it are lovely.  The author herself is lovely.  I just didn't sync with the book.  I think it was because it read very much like Jerry and Esther Hicks' books.  A lot of questions to Jesus and then what the author interprets his answers to be.  I feel that the book was a bit beyond me, like maybe I am not quite at that level of understanding so it didn't make much sense.  And that's my issue not the author's.

There were however some beautifully quotable passages in this book and I even used a few on my Facebook page.  The over all theme of the book is that "we don't take our beliefs with us when we leave here; we take the love we found by having them."  I really love that idea.  Maybe if more followers of different religions looked at their beliefs with love instead of power and fear we might create a happier world to live in.

Again?!

Up .4 (point four) this week.
*hides head in shame*
Oy.

A Review Or Two

Several months ago I was contacted by a lovely gentleman at America's Nutrition (Hi Zach!)  He asked if I would be interested in reviewing some products on my blog and since I love products and since they were the first company to contact me about a review I jumped at the chance.  Flash forward three months later and I finally have the downtime to do a few.  Here are the first two and as I test out the last two I will let you know:

The 30 Day Beauty Secret
Okay, I am not much on vitamin supplements that don't come from whole foods.  I once heard someone refer to vitamins as really expensive urine since all one seems to do is pee them out (something to do with how much the body can actually absorb.)  Well you will definitely notice a color change with this supplement.  The ingredients list is really awesome and I did notice that my hair and nails have been growing like crazy about a week after I started taking the supplement.  As far as improving my skin, it could have, but I have also been eating more fruits and veggies, drinking more water, getting regular facials and using lovely skin care products.  I used to suffer from an annoying case of adult onset acne but that has seemed to calm down.  As stated earlier I did notice an improvement in the growth of my hair and nails but I couldn't say if it helped with my skin since I already do many things to help in that department.

Emu Oil by Thunder Ridge

Wow!  This stuff is amazing and harvested in the near by county of Manassas.  I have a patch of eczema on the back of my neck where my hair line is that has been the bane of my existence for almost 10 years.  I have read that emu oil has been known to help if not heal inflamed skin but always resisted trying it out.  Partly due to the fact that I wasn't sure how they harvested the oil (turns out they do kill the bird for it's meat and the oil is a bonus.)  There is no gross odor, the bottle is actually a pretty blue one not the bottle that is pictured on the website and feels like any other oil.  I put it on at night before I go to bed and wake up sans the itchy scalp.  YAY!  You can read all the other uses for emu oil in the above link.  I can see this becoming a great healer of chapped skin in the upcoming winter months.


There you have it.  I still have the last two products and a book review coming up so stay tuned.....

Embarrassed

I weigh in on Tuesdays, which has it's plus and minuses.  If I have a social weekend it usually shows up on the scale.  Well, last weekend I had a VERY social weekend and it showed.  Up 3.4 lbs.... again.  What is up with 3.4?  That's the second time I have gained exactly that much weight in the past three weigh ins.  Needless to say I am embarrassed and a little ashamed after coming off such a great loss the week before.  I'm feeling pretty down on myself about it but I haven't been able to dwell too much since work is so busy right now.  However, I do have another very social weekend coming up.  A bachelorette / bachelor party up in D.C.  We are talking the works:  limo, cocktails, strip club and I am sure plenty of opportunities to eat. 

I'm nervous. I can't help it.  I just keep thinking that if I can just get through to November 1st then I can really focus before the holidays.  Here is a rundown of all the things I have to do (on top of working two jobs) that are potential land mines:

• Our German visitors are here until the 7th and there are at least three food related functions that I will be attending with them
• I have a wedding to go to on the 15th
• I will be in Colorado for a week at the end of October
• Halloween
• Then the beginning of  November I move.

GAAAAAHHHHH! 

Whew!  I really needed to get that out. 

M'kay, I'm off to take some deep breaths and a Valium.

P.S  I love you guys.  Thanks for listening/reading.  :)

HIYAAA!!! *Karate Kick*

That's right, down 5.8 lbs this week!  I got my Mr. Miyagi on ALL over those pounds.  Even if you don't count the 3.4 lbs that I gained  last week that is still a very respectable 2.4 lb lost.  I am reeeedaunkulously happy with this.

I know that my posts have been rather short of late but that is because I am trying to keep busy.  I am trying to do more social things to keep my spirits up.  In fact, I have a date with Mr. Anthony Bourdain tonight.  Yes, that's right ladies.... a live and in person date.  He is speaking at the university in my town and I am on my way to dinner and then to silently stalk him as he pontificates on life, food and rock n roll.

Check ya on the flip side!

Well.....crap.

Aunt flow did come to town, just in time for me to have a few days of mindless eating and bloating before the weigh in.  Up 3.4 lbs this week.  :(  I guess this means I will have to give my purse back.  No, not really... it just means I don't get another purse when I lose the 3.4.  And I will lose it.  Oh yes, you can rest assured that I will lose that annoying number of gained pounds!

If I look at it in a positive light this has helped me get back to a few basics that I shirked along the way:

• Tracking everything that goes into my mouth (this is a big challenge for me)
• Exercise ( I started walking again since it's not jungle hot here anymore in Virginia)
• Positive affirmations (got out of this habit for the past two months because I was waaay to busy feeling sorry for myself)

Only 32 days until I fly out to Denver.  I would really rather not wear the airplane seat as a skirt.

No Time and Not Much To Say

There she is... my new bag and I just love her.  I feel bad in a Joan Jett kinda way now that I am sporting this lovely.  Well, okay....maybe the bag could use some spikes to really make it bad ass but spikes aren't really me.

I am down 1.2 lbs this week which really shocked the stuffing out of me.  I just *knew* that I had gained walking into WW.  My reason for this knowing is that I did not track or count points all week.  I was mindful about stopping when I was full and about eating good food (except the Chinese I had on Sunday) but I didn't go to the gym and ate what I pleased.  I had already decided to give myself some down time since I knew last week and this week were gonna be a little unsettling.  More on that later.

I am back on track for this week with tracking but feel as if aunt flo will make an appearance and that always messes with my head and the scale.  Fingers crossed!

Have a great weekend folks!

Oy.

Hello my lovelies.

I have not had internetz at my house since Monday, hence the longer than normal time lapse between posts.  Well, not surprisingly I am only down .6 (point six) this week but I really wasn't expecting much more after a 4lb loss last week.

I did purchase a new handbag (squeeeee!) and I lurve it.  I can't find a pic of it so I'll have to take one to show you guys.  It's a slightly metallic dark gray Nine West bag from Ross.  From what I understand...gray is very in this season.  I have seen a lot of gray/white/yellow combinations out there.  Me likey!

I wish I had more interesting things to report but I have just been kinda "checking in" to my days lately.  I am purging and packing for my move in November.  Stressful. This is my last full month membership to the far far away gym that I belong to.  To be honest I really haven't been much in the past few months so I don't think that I will miss it.  I have decided to give up on the yoga DVDs.  Most of the ones available on Netflix are not really conducive to actually trying to learn the poses.  I have done classes before and will have to go back to learning in a classroom setting. 

I belong to a German Sister City program in lovely Fredericksburg,VA.  It's one that just started in May and at the end of September we have about 30 German folks staying in our fair hamlet.  They will be here a week and I have no idea how I will have any time left for myself once work, packing, socializing and transporting this folks gets underway.  After they leave I have a wedding and then I am off to Colorado for a week at the end of October and then I move.  Phew!  I am exhausted just thinking about it. 

I am going to try to stay focused and inspired so that the weight continues to wave bye bye.  I have a goal.... to fit more comfortably in the airplane seat this time around.  I am even flying the same airline and type of aircraft as I did this time last year.  I hope there is a noted difference.  Colorado is my light in the murk right now.  I can't wait to breathe that amazing mountain air, hike those trails and lust after those handsome rugged outdoors men.

I really wanted to thank you all for your amazing suggestions for combating emotional eating.  It's good to know I am not alone.

Till next time!

P.s. I have some reviews coming up on several natural products and a book.  Stay tuned.

Don't ask me how.....

but I lost 4lbs this week for a total of 20 lbs lost.  And it only took 14 weeks!  ;)  Lordy, I hope that the next twenty doesn't take that long but if it does...no biggie.  I'll just keep pluggin' along.  So according to my reward system, 20 lbs gets me a new purse.  This is awesome since my current purse is in the process of falling apart.  Ross, Marshall's....here I come!

Question:  What healthy ways have you found to deal with tough emotions?

I have been having some uber stressful weeks and an especially stressful one last week and the first few days of this week.  Which I believe is one reason I have lost so much (cause lord knows I haven't been exercising).  My appetite has uncharacteristically decided to bail on me.  Well, not every day but most days.  Could I finally be getting ahead of this "emotional eating" thing?  Only time will tell.

Award Speech

As I mentioned, in what seems like forever ago, I was given the Versatile Blogger award by Lanie Painie and Julie Lost and Found.  Thank you so much ladies!  Well I am finally getting around to doing something about it.  So here goes:

The Rules:

1.  Thank the person(s) who gave you the award.   Check!

2.  Share 7 things about yourself.  Check!

3.  Nominate 10 newly discovered blogs ( I am going to take license with this and nominate some that I have known about for a while.... cheeky!)  Check!

4.  Let your nominees know about the award.   Aaannd... Check!

Thanks again ladies!

Seven Things About Me:

1.  I love to travel.  I would say I love it so much that I have a terrible case of wanderlust.  Just wish my wallet had the same passion.

2.  I was born pigeon toed.  It was corrected with heavy casts when I was a wee babe.

3.  I have a thing for accents.  Can't help it.  Oh dear lord, if the person speaking to me has a Scottish accent then I am lost.

4.  My weight has been a challenge for me my whole life up to this point.

5.  I deeply admire Louise Hay and Elizabeth Gilbert.

6.  I am a sensualist.  In all things; food, wine, men, life.

7.  My idea of heaven is leading a life that is passionate, artistic and kind.


Now, for my nominations..... drum roll please!

1.  Livet Just Lagom, is a blog my friends Anne and Stu are keeping while they are in grad school in Stockholm.  I envy their life.

2.  Grumpy Editor is a very good friend of mine.  In fact she is one of the dearest friends of my life.  Oh, and she's funny too.

3.  Girlysmack is one of the first blogs I ever read.  It does help that she is my friend but she also happens to be an excellent story teller and writer.

4.  Fat Bridesmaid is one cool and sassy chick.  Plus she loves sushi as much as I do.

5.  The Token Fat Girl may be the first weight loss blog I started reading.  I just love her because she is real and she tries every single day to be happy.

6.  The Freelancer's Fashion blog.  I don't even know who this chick is but she is Fabulous with a capital F!

7.  Tj's Test Kitchen.  A fellow WW member and all around good person.

8.  The Fitnessista.  I think she is just adorable!

9.  Paulawannacracker.  Cause she kicks booty!

10. Tallow & Grove.  Even though most of the time I have no idea what she is talking about (she's waaaay too smart for me) she is one of the sweetest most interesting people I know.

Oh, and I am down (point) .6 this week.  Not great but not a gain either.

Later taters!

I Swear I Haven't Forgotten

As soon as I have a moment to catch my breath I will pay the blog award forward.  Suffice it to say that the past week and this week (so far have blown.)  I am up 2lbs thanks to all the bday/True Blood socializing I did last weekend.  I am bummed.  I had a food pity party for myself yesterday and feel super gross today but I started fresh this morning and have been eating really clean and healthy.  I have a bridal shower to attend this weekend which does involve swimming but it also involves cocktails and cocktail foods.  Let's hope I have the strength to resist too much temptation.

So, how are you?  :)

Thank You

Thank you all so much for your wonderful shoe suggestions.  It was hard to decide looking on line so I decided to hit up VA Runner (which is where I got my last pair of shoes).  Granted I always feel a little intimidated walking into a store that is staffed with super fit runners but they are so nice and wonderfully helpful.  $118 (!!) dollars later and I have a lovely pair of Asics that hug my feet and support my entire body.  LOVE.  I really don't mind paying that kind of money for shoes because the last pair I had I bought in 2008 and cost about $125.  That's $5.20 a month.... not bad.  :)
Here are my new babies:

Cute huh?  ;)  I even tried them out today with a full work load AND a Bodyjam class this evening at the gym.  My knees didn't hurt once.  SCORE!

Guess what?  I am down 2 more pounds for a total of 17.6 lbs AND I passed the "lost 5% of my weight" mark.  HAPPY DANCE!

In all seriousness you, my lovely web friends, helped make this possible.  I wouldn't be here now if it weren't for the support of my friends, family and angels like you.  THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

Last but not least, a thank you shout out to Julie Lost and Found and Lanie Painie for bestowing me with the Versatile Blogger Award.  Thank you ladies!  I swear I will pay it forward tomorrow when I am not so bloody tired.

KISSES!

BOOYAH!!

Down 3.4 lbs this week!  Which puts me at 15.6 pounds lost.... WHICH MEANS... I get new shoes. You're Darn Tootin!  Now I just have to figure out what shoes.  I know I want/need new athletic shoes.  Something I can massage and workout in.  Any suggestions?  Please leave a link in the comments section so I can see what they look like.  A girl has to be stylish, you know.  ;)

Tuesday Kinda Blew

Sorry to be blunt but there it is.  I am up 1.2 lbs this week due to all the food I shoved in my  flippin face this past weekend with my family.  Not to be deterred, I have refocused and have been exercising and eating within my points.  Granted it's only been two full days in my new week and I have a bday party to go to this weekend as well as a family brunch but I am bound and determined to stay within my points.  I am also going to try and not use the points I acquire for my workouts.  I want next Tuesday's weigh in to kick hind ends!

Keeping within the theme of suckage, on Tuesday my roommate decided to text me to let me know that he is "thinking" about asking the woman he has been dating (FOR ONLY TWO MONTHS) to move in with him.  Which really leaves me up poops creek.  Did I mention that she has two little boys?  No, well she does.  What this means for me is that if this does happen in the next several months I will have to move...AGAIN.  I just got here six months ago!!!  Me?  No, I'm not stressed at all.  And no I don't feel brushed aside and crapped on or anything.  (Is the sarcasm oozing through your computer screen yet?)  ;)

I just hope and pray that I find something amazing in the next several months and that things turn out for the best.  I'll keep you posted.

Have a great week!

Happy Dance!

Down 1.6 lbs!  Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

See That Girl, Watch That Scene...

Today I went to see Mamma Mia with two of my best girls.  We had a lovely picnic before hand with all manner of healthy and delicious foods and maybe a little sparkling rose thrown in too.  It was a perfect day, warm but breezy with no humidity which is always a welcome surprise in the southeast.  I really needed today and it was everything I could have hoped for.

I have been working a lot the past few months, had a few seriously stressful moments and have been doing almost an annoying amount of self reflection.  However, this past week has been lovely and relaxing and exactly what the doctor ordered.

Btw, I tried doing the Jillian Michaels workout dvd that banishes fat and boosts your metabolism and ummmm.... not for beginners.  It's actually for mostly fit persons who want to tone even more.  The lovely ladies helping her in the dvd looked like triathletes.  Yeah, not so much like me.  I gave it a good college try but when I was sure I was having a stroke I decided to back off and re-evaluate my netflix workout dvds.

Up .4 (point four)

Tttthhhhhhppppptttt!!!  : P
Ah well, not to bad.  As my WW leader said, this amount is very recoverable.  I like that.  Recoverable. :)

The Good, The SAD and The Ugly

The Good:  I am down 1.6 lbs this week....even with a whole weekend of wedding celebrations.

The Sad:  Our family dog passed away this morning.  The vet discovered a little too late that he had Cushing's Disease.  He was the sweetest, stinkiest, chillest dog ever.

The Ugly:  My iPhone died while trying to update it.  I have been on the phone forever with Apple (who has awesome customer service and hold music) and it's still not working.  This phone is my only phone, my only source of constant contact with my business clients and friends and family.  I have resorted to facebooking messages and using my office phone when I am at work.  :(  Which means I am at work for way longer than I should be.  Hope this situation gets resolved soon.  OY.

Speed Bump

Weigh in: down (point six) .6lbs---  Not exactly what I was hoping for but I will most definitely take it.  This may be the busiest social summer I have had in years and it's so befitting that I joined Weight Watchers (oops, cat's out of the bag!  ;)) right before hand, right?  Cookouts, holidays, weddings, pool parties, concerts, major birthdays.... what's a girl to do?!  It's actually driving me crazy not being able to measure every single thing going into my mouth.  I am not good at guessing, guessing is what got me into the situation I'm in.  I have learned that I need to allow myself a learning curve and WW is teaching me how to estimate portion sizes when it's not possible for me to measure.

I have to say that I am absolutely loving the new program!  This is not the Weight Watchers I did when I was 11 and could only eat  plain tuna and cottage cheese with pineapple chunks.  After hearing so many wonderful things about the program and seeing the success that people are having I decided enough was enough and haven't looked back since.  :)

Well despite everyone's advice nudging me towards A-Team (which I will be seeing, oh don't you worry) I decided to see SAC 2 with my sister and we made a girls day out of it.  Even though the movie was blah we had a wonderful time: sushi, a cosmo and fashion for days.  Yes the movie was too long and yes the annoying gaggle of drunken women behind us made me want to claw my eyes out every time they made a poopie comment about one of the actresses, the clothes or the men.... I still enjoyed it most of it (the most of it that dealt with fashion and Aiden and Big and Smith and ..... well you get the picture.)

I have a wedding to go to this weekend and it's making me very nervous because I really want to record a larger loss next week.  So keep your fingers crossed that this girlie stays with in her points and is still able to have a fab time.  15 lbs is so close I can taste it.  Mamma needs new exercise shoes!

Cheers!

Still Going Strong

I know that normally I post on a Wednesday about my weight but since I was getting weighed in today (I have to work all day tomorrow) I thought I would record it post haste.  I am down 1.2 lbs this week for a totally of 10 lbs!  In three weeks!  Yipppeeee! 

There is a little part of me that's slightly bummed it's not more BUT I know why it's not more.  I got lazy with the food journal and tried doing a running tally in my head but as I discovered this past week, I suffer from food amnesia.  So back to journaling it is and I'm gonna up the workouts as well.  Make them a little more difficult.  I am expecting a Yoga Zone 40 minute beginners workout dvd in the mail tomorrow.  So that will be something new and challenging for my body.  Plus, since it's so bloody hot right now I think I might need to up the water intake.

Now, on to the fun stuff.  Since I have reached my 10 lb goal I get to treat myself to a movie.  I am trying to decide between Sex and the City 2 and A-team.  Fabulous clothes, designer shoes, gorgeous locations OR  a six pack sporting Bradely Cooper and the always delicious Liam Neeson.  Decisions, Decisions.....

Also, for my first five pounds I went to Sephora and purchased a sweet nail polish (along with some Bare Minerals and an extractor).  They did indeed have a lovely mermaid green but I have really been enjoying the look of fresh clean toes so I went for this:  Bare To Be Different by OPI for Sephora.  Maybe I'll try it out tonight.  :D

 

Descending....

....well, at least my weight is!  :D  Down 4.6lbs this week.  SCORE!  So after two weeks of my new (shhhhh) secret life changing habits I have lost a total of 8.8lbs.  I guess my body likes even numbers.  ;)  I would like to see how I do after a month and then maybe I will feel secure enough to share with you what I am doing.  Gosh, it sounds so covert ops but it's really not.  It's just that I enjoy keeping it to myself at the moment.  A few folks know out of necessity but I am asking them to zip the lip and not let it slip.  Ahahahah..... rhyming.  Oy.

I am feeling really good, lots of energy.  I started doing yoga again.  Baby steps of course but I have already noticed a difference, more space in my lower back...etc.  Since I have been working so much, getting to the gym has been really difficult so I decided to reactivate my Netflix account and started getting workout DVDs delivered.  If you have any you can recommend please share.  I have come to realize that I enjoy working out in the morning during the summer months.  After I get off of work I just want to play and hang out with my friends and family.  Working out in the morning makes that easier and less stressful since I can just shower and get ready at home.

According to my rewards list I am able to gift myself with a gorgeous new nail polish color.  I am hoping to get to either Ulta or Sephora this weekend to pick up a lovely neutral.  Even though I really want a funky mermaid green, I have come to realize that, at my size, painting my toes myself is really difficult and messy.  With a neutral I can hide my mistakes a little better and when I want something sassier I will head to the spa for some delicious pedi/mani love.

Have a wonderful week!

Steps In The Right Direction

Howdy folks!
There I go, disappearing again.    I am gonna make this update a little short and sweet since I have to run to an appointment.  As I said in my last post I have started making some changes in my life.  One of the changes was to admit to my friends and family that I have a food addiction.  That was more difficult than I thought it would be but I did it none the less.  Some of the other changes I am still not ready to share as yet.  I am sorry I am being so secretive about the whole thing but since I really want these changes to stick I feel like I shouldn't be shouting my plan from the mountain tops like I have with every other good living intention.... only to fall flat on my face and feel the guilt and embarrassment of failing once again.  When I feel more comfortable and successful with this new thing I will be sure to share it right away.

So that being said, because of the changes I have made starting last Tuesday I am down 4.2lbs!  That's right.... just .8lbs away from rewarding myself with another lovely nail polish color.  :)  In case you are wondering, no, I did not do anything drastic or dramatic like starve myself.  Just a few life altering changes to jump start my journey.

Now, don't think that this past week has been wine and roses.  Nay, nay... it's been fraught with emotions both good and bad.  I kinda figured that while working through an addiction and making changes to your lifestyle habits that it would bring up some touchy issues, memories and feelings.  Well, it most definitely has.  Whew!

I am just trying to take it one day at a time, forgive myself and others, look at it for what it is and take good and loving care of myself. 
Please, do the same for you!  :)

It's The Little Things

After feeling kinda low yesterday due to the incident that shall not be named (I'm looking at YOU,scale!) I decided to comfort myself with a little TLC.  Instead of stuffing my face full of any number of delicious yet utterly bad for you foods, I got my hair done.  Cut, high and low lights.... the works.  I love it!  It's very different from my usual golden blond.  I went for rich brown low lights and super duper blond (think platinum) high lights.  I wish I had a pic for you.  Maybe I can get my butt in gear and take one sometime this week to post.

What positive things do you do for yourself when you are feeling low?

*gulp*

Hey.  I have once again done a two week disappearing act.  I have many reasons, of course: LOST, work, birthdays, cleaning and organizing.  But as you can see none of those things listed are losing weight or exercising.

So today I got up bright and early, grabbed a naner and headed to the gym with my already-packed-the-night-before gym bag. I thought to myself, "Hey, it's a good day to hop on the scale and see where I am.  I haven't done it in a looooong time so what the heck!"  Well, 332 is what the heck.  I nearly vomited on the spot.  Folks, this is the highest my weight has ever been.  EVER.  Well, that I am aware of... there were a few years in my early 20's when I didn't weigh myself at all and was quite a lot heavier than I feel now.  Needless to say that my stomach nearly fell out of my butt as I was hyperventilating (all on the inside.  I mean, I was in public for goodness sake!)

I did this before my Strive class so I bet you can guess what I thought of the whole time I was sweatin' out to cams 1, 2 and 3.  When the class was over and I went to the locker room to shower I took a moment to really look at myself.  And what I saw I did not like.  My perseption of my size was a lot smaller than what it really is.  As I was standing there, dripping sweat, hair plastered to my forehead and my lower back, knees and heels hurting it finally sunk in just how unhealthy I am. 

I can't really explain what I started feeling in that moment.  A sort of calm heaviness began to settle in me... a determination in a way started taking affect in that far away place in my brain.  I don't know what it means yet and I think I am just gonna follow it and see where it leads me.  I have begun some changes that I am not ready to go into yet because I want to see how they pan out.  The last thing ya'll need is me waxing poetic about what I "plan" to do instead of what I am doing.  I will share in time, once I get a better grip on the situation.

Wanted:

This print. I saw this on a recent post at Design*Sponge and fell in love with this map. In fact I think I fell in love with most of the maps featured in the article. There is an aqua version of the one above that is fabu too. Check out the website: These Are Things. You'll be glad you did.

Sigh, that map is just so very MadMen. *heart flutters*

Dropping The Ball

Wowzers! Where did I go? It's been what, three weeks since I uttered a peep. Unacceptable.
I wish I had some amazing story of why I've been away for so long. You know, something wondrous like I was out tracking rogue lions in the African bush or helping my friend Anne install the Annie Leibovitz show at the Fotografiska Museum or sailing the Caribbean in a luscious yacht with a handsome Scottish billionaire. However, no... I have been doing none of those things. Sad. Face.

I have, however been working like crazy, dealing with car issues and watching a lot of Ruby. I know that many of you out there watch Ms. Ruby too. Well this seasons finale really got to me. If you haven't seen it, Ruby and some of her girlfriends from the group, Women's Fat Night, decided to undergo a 6 day intensive therapy program to really discover why they are over weight. It was a two hour special and extremely emotional. I really identified with Ruby's friend Joan who had the first breakthrough during the program. I have saved the show on my dvr since it was two hours of an emotional boot camp. I am planning to watch it again when I am alone (sands large good ole boy roommate) and I can truly fall into the emotions that their experiences brought up for me.

I have kind of flirted with this idea for a while and have said it half jokingly on many occasions but while watching this episode of Ruby and trying to be really honest with myself I now see that I really truly have an addiction to food. One that requires more help than I can provide myself. I have been researching the local Weight Watchers (out of my budget for now), looking at different versions of the 12 step program, support groups, food plans, workout plans... you name it and I have probably looked at it. One thing I did realize is that I need to be more honest with myself about my problems and weaknesses and that I really need to purge my feelings and thoughts on this here blog. Sometimes I worry too much about being funny or entertaining instead of just being honest.

The two weeks after my last post I was kicking some major booty on the workout front and averaging 5 days of workouts a week. I was also making my meals, not eating out and watching my portions. This past week saw all of those amazingly good things fly right out the window. I allowed my routine to dissolve because of some minor changes that needed to be made for this week. I really need to learn to roll with the punches, a few setbacks should not derail me so. One positive thing out of this week is that I really noticed the difference in how I feel. I have not slept through the night at all this week, I have had no energy, my skin revolted against me, my digestive track is most displeased and my internal lady parts are confused and unhappy.

This evening I am trying to reset my clocks, get super organized for the week and start the climb again.

What helps you get back on track?

Birthday Loot

Howdy folks! Well, yet another year has bitten the dust in this old gals life but I am soooo looking forward to many more. :) Okay, as promised here are some pics of my birthday loot:Patherine gave me a whole box of goodies, including these lovely coasters.

She also gave me this lovely frame with an inspiration saying in it.

A closer look.

These adorable measuring spoons from Anthropologie were a lovely surprise!

I am a firm believer in buying something for yourself on your birthday. Or several somethings. ;)
So on a splurge to Charming Charlie this is what came home with me:

That gorgeous blue/green flower thingy is the cutest darn headband this side of the Mason/Dixon Line. I have been obsessing over white sunglasses and Ta da!.... don't know how they wound up in my shopping bag.

Monday the 12th was my actual 34th birthday (sobs quietly to herself) so my lovely friends met me at our local sushi haunt and presented me with these:

Elizabeth gave me a themed gift of Ferragamo shoe note cards and a DSW gift card, Charlie knows of my love of books so hence the B& N card. My friends Sam and Heather and Mark know I like wine and cocktails. I love this sparkling rose.

I wonder what they are trying to say?

Would you look at this bunch of loonies?

Thanks for an amazing birthday dear friends!

Post to come

I had a little birthday this Monday which has kept me very busy for the past several days. :) But I will update soon with some pics of my bday loot. Squeeeeeee!

Positive Affirmations

Greetings!
How's life and stuff? Good... good. Well, I wanted to take a moment to talk about a subject that is near and dear to me.... affirmations. It's no secret that I struggle with self esteem, feeling good enough and in general loving myself. Hello? That's why I have a weight problem. Protecting myself much? And since I am still unable to afford insurance at the moment going to speak to a qualified person is out of my budget. So I turned to the person I have been turning to for years now, Louise Hay. If you are not familiar with this amazing woman please check her out.

I have usually "done" affirmations willy nilly in the past. However this time my discipline has been more focused. I am actually doing the mirror work that is required when you first start. Mirror work is when you sit in front of a mirror or hold one up to your face and speak the positive affirmations that you want to be true in your life....even if you don't believe it. There is something very powerful about looking into your own eyes and telling yourself that you love you just as you are. You do feel silly and fake at first but once you really dig deep that's when the emotions come up and the powerful changes begin to occur. Man, I should do commercials for this lady.. I sound like a salesman. ;)

So that's what I have been doing. You know what the cool thing is? I have started saying them all throughout the day. Whenever I catch myself thinking something negative I follow the thought up with a positive affirmation. The subjects may not even be related but that's okay as long as I am thinking something that puts me in a more positive frame of mind. Give it a try, see if it works for you.


I am willing to change
I am loving and lovable and I find love everywhere
I am one with the power that created me and this power has given me the power to create my own circumstances
I listen with love to my bodies messages


I love and approve of myself
I love and approve of myself
I love and approve of myself......

Chico, Border Collie Extraordinaire

I thought it about time I posted a picture of the cutest schmoopy in the world... or at least in my world.
Check out his hypnotic blue eye.... look into his eye.... listen to the soothing sound of my voice... you are getting sleepy... sleepy....

Anthony Bourdain

Yes, this handsome dude. He and I have a date September 23rd (along with a few hundred other folks) at my local University. I cannot wait! Our love will finally be made public and the naysayers will no longer deny our heavenly union. Sigh. *dramatically whispers* "I love you."

Sucked It Up

I had my boo hoo, sucked it up and got my jiggly wiggly butt to the gym. And I am going again tonight. Yeehaw!! :)

"Self-approval and self-acceptance in the now are the main keys to positive changes in every area of our lives." ~ Louise Hay

Feeling Your Fat

Okay, I think I have been doing really well with the staying positive stuff, doing things that make me happy and trying to accept myself for who I am. However, some days (like today) I really and I do mean REALLY feel every last jiggling pound of my fat. In fact I would say that the "pressure" of feeling all this fat has been lying on my chest for almost a week now. It seems to be popping up in most conversations with friends, on tv, at work etc. etc. etc. I am clearly not the only one out there that feels this way or else the diet business wouldn't be so lucrative. It just sucks, ya know?

My work and social schedule have been so topsy turvy this past week and a half that I myself feel topsy turvy. My gym plans have taken a back seat to last minute work appointments, friends coming into town and let's face it just plan laziness on my part. I just can't seem to get the energy to work out at 8:30 or 9pm at night. And going before work is sometimes an option but since I have moved my gym is in a completely opposite county from where I live. That makes it very inconvenient. I know what most of you are probably thinking, that if I really wanted to I would find a way to exercise whether it's in a gym or not.... and you would be right. It's this never ending cycle of excuses that keeps me from achieving my goal.

The truth is I just don't want to work out somedays and sometimes those somedays turn into a week and then two weeks and the next thing you know it's a month since your badonkadonk has seen the elliptical. Then, after a while I get the itch to get back into the gym and manage to keep it up for several weeks. But those excuses sneak back in eventually and then I am right back where I started. I don't know how to break the pattern. I don't know how to love and accept myself longer than a few weeks before the negative thoughts start to rear their ugly freakin' heads.

Let me take a break from this poo poo post and say thanks to all of you for sticking by me. I really appreciate it. I know that patterns of highs and lows can be frustrating and I have really been trying to keep at a more even keel but sometimes I gotta vent and you (lucky, lucky readers) get to share in all my crazy a$$ glory. So again, thank you pookies!!

On a more positive note a good friend of mine, who normally lives in Chicago, is cooking dinner for about 14 friends at my house tomorrow night. Why is this spectacular you ask? Because my friend just spent 3 months in Italy studying the cuisine before he graduated from culinary school. So yeah, this should be awesome! I am gonna try and shake off my mood by tomorrow morning so that I can really enjoy my friends, the food and the wonderful memories that I know we will create.

March Madness

Or should I say End of February Madness? Whoa! I guess I wasn't the only who was tired of being cooped up inside during our back to back snow storms. Business has been BOOMING. I can't believe that two weeks have flown by so quickly. When I saw that my last post was over two weeks ago I dramatically clutched my pearls and gasped, how had I let that amount of time pass without so much as a drive by posting?

So here I am, waiting for my next client to show up and typing furiously in the hopes of completing this post before the next wave. BTW, they are calling for snow again. Hopefully not much accumulation but still....I'm a little sick of the stuff.

To clarify, the baby in the last post is just a pic I found on the interwebs and couldn't not put it up. That baby is adorable but I don't know that baby, it doesn't belong to anyone I know. It's just a good wish to a friend who is hoping to adopt a baby in the future. But my oh my that baby is sweet!

Okay, Food Rules by Michael Pollan. I read it in less than an hour, not because I am a fast reader but because it is a super easy read. In fact I would go so far as to say that it is more of a guide or Cliff's Notes to his other books; The Omnivores Dilemma and In Defense of Food. It is perfect to tuck away in your purse, kitchen drawer or office. The rules are simple, easy to understand and follow and are pretty humorous. If you enjoy reading Pollan's books and are interested in the subject matter he often discusses, may I suggest also reading anything by Mark Bittman and Real Food by Nina Planck which I am currently reading. They all have the same message. Eat real food, be environmentally responsible and listen to your body.

I have slowly been incorporating the above messages into my daily life. I only buy meat from my local butcher now because he informs me as to where my meat is coming from, he tours the facilities and if they don't meet with his approval then he doesn't order from them. I have also started buying milk and butter from him as well since he is carrying my favorite semi-local brand, Trickling Springs Creamery. I now bake my own bread thanks to Baking with Julia, or I buy from my local bakery. I will be attempting my very first garden in a few months. Wish me luck, cause this girly sometimes has a brown thumb. So far there hasn't been much change to my grocery budget but I am hoping that will change with the summer and with growing my own veg.

It's amazing how creative I feel cooking my own whole foods and baking my own breads. The process is amazing, not just the outcome plus I get to practice food photography. I hope to get up a post one day of all the yummy stuff I have been making.

I have a couple of new ideas and plans in the works and as I fine tune those I will share. But for now, I hope you all have a wonderful week and if the weather in your neck of the woods is nice then for gosh sakes get out there and enjoy it.... for me....please? :)

Oh, I almost forgot! Have you guys seen this? Whatdaya think? Exciting huh?!

Happy Birthday Erin!

I hope this year brings you everything you ever wanted.
Love you!

Excuses, Excuses.

I didn't go to the gym this morning. Aunt Flow paid me a visit last night and I slept horribly because of it. My back was super tight and sore due to the cramping so I just decided to lay in my bed rocking back and forth and trying to hum the pain away. Anyone else do that? No? Just me then. After about an hour I began to feel much better and assured myself that, yes, I could make it through the day. So dramatic! These are definitely good reasons for not going but then again all they really are is excuses.

So I took the morning to evaluate, pep talk and cheer lead. In no time I was dressed and out the door. Running errands, eating my packed lunch, getting my schedule ready for this weekend, talking to the IRS (gaaaaaaaaaah!) you know, the usual. I also made a pit stop to Borders since I had a gift card I had gotten for Christmas and looky looky what I bought:





I can't wait to start reading them tonight!

My evening client has rescheduled for next week so guess where I am heading after this post? You guessed it, El Gymo. Bodyjam is on tonight and I absolutely love that class. Dancing as if you were in a night club? I'll take it!

Work will be quite busy for the next three days plus I hope to sneak on over to the movies to check out Shutter Island (the book was the shizz!) and have dinner with friends. I may even get to see my little niecey-kins on Sunday. Yeehaw!

I may not have time to post till next week, so have a wonderful weekend ya'll!

Coming Up For Air

I can safely say that I never want to see snow again. Well, that's a lie. I never want to see that much snow in my DRIVEWAY again. I just got my car out yesterday. I haven't driven my little sparkly since Feb. 4th. That is unacceptable! She felt abandoned. Work was nil during the back to back storms we got however, Valentine's Day and this week are being very VERY kind to my wallet (smiley face.)

My butt hates me. I think that all I did for the past two weeks was eat and sleep. I baked cookies, cinnamon rolls, bread (all from scratch I might add), I made Super Bowl food.. you know the kind: totally bad for you and consisting of very little natural food. I'm talking to you Dr. Pepper! Dear Velveeta cheese dip, I don't ever want to see you again. Love, Me. So now I think I would punch my grandma in the face for a big green leafy salad.

I haven't been to the gym in a while. That will be corrected tomorrow morning when I attempt to do back to back classes, Zumba then gentle yoga. I may not survive.

They are calling for more snow next week. I have a conference call with Mother Nature tomorrow to give her a piece of my mind.

Tootles!

More Flippin' Snow!

Good grief... will it ever end?! They are calling for yet another huge snowstorm like the one we had in December. Me no likey. We just had about 3 inches of snow/ice last night... ugh! I think I may need to pick up some vodka to get through this weekend. Dirty martini anyone?

One good thing about this snow is the lovely pics I am capturing of which I hope to post soon. Chico, Border Collie Extraordinaire, looks uber cute out in the snow bounding over drifts and generally having a great time. Since I have been at home more than normal I have had the chance to really get into cooking real food. Not as time consuming and hard as I was convinced it would be. In fact I tend to geek out a little and get excited about planning meals now. Oy. Unfortunately my urge to bake shoots off the charts when cooped up in a house with snow falling down. I will try to control myself this weekend. No promises though.

Another awesome thing about spending so much down time is that I have had plenty of opportunity to plan my first ever garden. I have books, plans, lists and sketches. I can't wait! I know it will be a lot of work but I really think I am ready to try. I would love to save some money on groceries, feel connected with the circle of life (cue Elton John) and generally become more knowledgeable about how food works and how my body responds to it. I would love to feel that sense of pride knowing that you worked hard for something and then getting to enjoy the results of all that work. Who knows, I may sing a very different tune when I am fighting pests and other wildlife off of my precious tomatoes and cukes. If anyone has any advice please feel free to leave it in the comments section. Once I have finalized my plans I will post them for additional advice and suggestions.

Well must be off to the store with the other crazies and stock up on staples since we probably wont see the light of day until next week. You know, cause the human race hasn't invented plows or sand trucks or salt trucks yet.

I Have Survived!

Hello my darlings! I have officially survived my move to the sticks. And I do mean sticks (pics to come.) I have no interwebs access at home, well I do on my iPhone but have you ever tried to type a blog post on an iPhone? Not. Cool. So I am using my business interwebs that was hooked up last week. At least I have some way to stalk you all and to type my nonsensical ramblings. :)

This is just a short one to say HI!

Laters!

New Focus For A New Year (Am I Sensing A Theme Here?)

Howdy folks! This camper is feeling much, much better. Thank the lawdy! The flu has finally left and I hope it never, ever returns. It has left a wee bit of sinus congestion that should hopefully be on it's way out as well.

I needed to take a break from paint prep, packing and cleaning and thought the perfect distraction would be catching up on my blog reading and writing. So here I am. I was reading some old posts of mine trying to pinpoint where I lost my drive and focus and unfortunately there is no clear cut time. I think it was a little more subtle than that. I would be lying if I said this didn't cause me to feel a little sad, ashamed and angry.

That also seemed to be the theme on Biggest Loser last night. I don't think I am going to watch this season because I was so disgusted with the shock tactics and overly dramatic scenes that seem to be shaping up this seasons episodes. To be honest I was kinda done last season (except for Danny... I lurved him!) My roommate and I were sitting there open-mouthed and angry at the blatant humiliation these people were going through for the sake of television ratings and sensationalism. Yes, I understand that they signed up to lose weight and air their emotional issues on national television but seriously? The weigh-in in front of their friends, family and townspeople? The message was so abundantly clear; You should be deeply ashamed for being this fat and it is now time for you to apologize for making everyone around you feel embarrassed for having to look at your fat, slothy ass! I know, I know... they agreed to weigh themselves on television for the whole world to see, but the contestants weighing in at the ranch in front of the trainers and each other would be a bonding tool that would forage friendships and alliances. I just feel that the heart and true message of the show has gotten lost in the producers need for ratings and shock value. P.S, where has Bob's training through love and compassion gone and since when did Gillian become a Psychologist? What happened to not stepping out of your scope of practice? Okay, rant done.

So, the title of my post? Maybe I should actually get to that. :)

Even though it made me angry, I am glad that I watched last nights BL episode if only for the fact that it got me thinking about my own situation and how I truly feel about myself and my body. I am tired of hating my body, of being ashamed of how I look but mostly I am tired of not truly loving and accepting myself... problems and all. So this years focus will be on finding happiness through creativity.

I used to be so imaginative, creative and artistic and somewhere along the way I lost a majority of that in my need to conform and to be liked by everyone. Well Screw That! :) So needless to say my blog will probably be focusing more on the things I do to enrich my life and the posts on how many calories I eat and the new fad diets I want to try will be fewer and farther between. I understand that I may lose a few readers because of that and I am okay with it. I understand that people need to read what inspires them and that may not necessarily be my blog.

I am also dedicating this year to more movement. I have noticed a stiffness that has started to settle in my body, I want to let that go and encourage space to open up. Yes, in a cut and dry way this means more exercise but I am approaching it from a different angle, not through the desperation to burn as many calories as possible.

This brings me to my third goal, self acceptance. I am hoping that the above two goals will help me in my achievement of the third. So I am going to focus on doing things that make me happy and strong. With that said, I am going to sign off now to head to the gym, have a nice lunch, a relaxing shower and then back to packing and cleaning. It's less than two weeks till moving day. Eeeek!

Until next time I wish you all much love and happiness in the new year!