I'm Back.

Hello out there! This is just a quick post to say that yes, I am still here and yes I am still plugging along. I will right more later but with the cruise, the holidays and working more I have had very little time or desire to blog. I practically had to force myself to write this one before I head into work. Anywho, with a new year brings new focus and new hope. I have decided to take somethings in a different direction of which I will explain more later.

Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Ramadan, Winter Solstice or what ever else you may practice! :)

Bon Voyage!

I will return after these short messages........ ON THE 22nd!!! :)

Where The Heck Have I Been?!

It's been almost three weeks since I've posted and that's just CRAZY! There has been a lot going on since the Turkey Trot. The biggest and most important thing as been my inspiration. That 5k walk/run was exactly what I needed. I have really enjoyed the focus that seems to be taking over my workouts. I have been doing double workouts on Sundays and trying to hard core exercise 4 days a week. However this week is a little shot since I leave for the wedding cruise on Friday and seem to be suffering from a slight sinus issue today which has totally sapped my energy. But it still can't diminish my excitement for the Caribbean!!!

Seriously you guys, I can not wait to feel that warm ocean breeze, sand between my toes and a pina colada in my hand. We are very fortunate to be cruising on the Independence of the Seas by Royal Caribbean. This ship is INSANE! Not only does it have a gagillion pools, clubs and restaurants but it has one of the most beautiful gyms one can find on a cruise liner. I swear I am not just saying this because this is a weight loss blog but I really can't wait to workout on this vacation. Imagine walking around a track on the lido deck with nothing but the beautiful blue ocean as your backdrop. Sigh. They also offer yoga and pilates! I made a promise to myself that this vacation would be an active one. Relaxing but active which is why I have signed up to do Snuba on St. Thomas and Para Sailing on Labadee. So exciting!!!!

No on to more boring news, my eating has definitely suffered the past week and a half. The reason? No groceries and I don't plan on buying any before the trip. What would be the point since most of it would spoil before I returned? But guess what? On the ship they have every kind of fruit and vegetable you can imagine and I can't wait to consume them all. :) Since my funds are a little tight I have no plans to do any serious partying so this would be the perfect time to really detoxify my body and to soak up plenty of vitamins and minerals.

If I don't post before Christmas I hope that you all have a very healthy and happy holiday!!!

Soooo Tired.....

but I wanted to post my Turkey Trot time. This was my first ever marathon run/walk and I was totally smitten. Everyone was in such great spirits before, during and after and I really felt like I accomplished something awesome!

My official time for walking the 5k was: 55:23. Which beat my training time by almost 10 minutes! I guess it was the adrenaline and the people cheering us on. My mom and I finished together by running the last few feet and singing the Chariots of Fire theme song out loud. It ruled! Patherine was there cheering us on in her lovely blue Hello Kitty hat. Bless her!

I hope that more people will join us next year. It was loads of fun.

Must go now..... so sleepy.

Happy Turkey Day!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Well tomorrow is the big day. They day that most of us who are dieting fear. A day of eating, couching, TV watching and eating some more. Sure, I will be doing some of that but I will also be participating in the Fredericksburg YMCA Turkey Trot! 5K's worth of butt kickin' good times.

I feel really good about where I am in my training. I have been doing over 4 miles on the Elliptical and 5K on the treadmill with some weight training and cardio classes thrown in. It will feel so good to be doing something active on the big day. I will more than likely post this weekend about my experience, which I know will be a good one, hopefully with some pics too.

I hope that all of you American readers have a safe and wonderful Turkey Day. And for those of you across the pond have an excellent day as well.... maybe sneak in a slice of pecan or pumpkin pie to toast to us Yankee's over here. ;)

Whew!

Hellllooooooo! Where the heck have I been? Not lounging on the beach in the south of France or sipping sangria in Spain.... I'm here in exciting Fredvegas. It may not be exciting but my life has at least been busy. The Turkey Trot is exactly a week from today and I am super psyched about it. I have been steadily training, except for a few days earlier this week when Auntie Flow was being a major butt munch but that aside I am doing well. I really enjoy having short term goals to strive for. After the Turkey Trot is the cruise and then after that..... I don't know but I must find something! :)

I am applying my previous goals to my daily routine and so far it seems to be working rather well. I am definitely getting more sleep now which has changed my mood dramatically. I am recording my calories and exercise on Sparkpeople. The only problem I had with it at first was when I plugged in my weight and how much I wanted to lose by a certain date it had me on a caloric intake of 1500 to 1700 daily. Well, I had a very difficult time keeping it less than 1800 and that was eating lots of fruits, veggies, lean protein and complex carbs. I spoke with my personal trainer friend and she about had a heart attack at how little they were recommending. With my height and activity level she suggested that I eat between 1800 on normal days and 2000 on active days. So that is what I am striving for. We will have to see how it goes.

The not eating after 7pm has proven to be a little more challenging than I would have liked. Sometimes I just don't get off from work and the gym until after 8pm and I don't want to mess up my metabolism by skipping dinner especially after a workout so when that happens I try to stick to light meals like salads and soups but I still notice a difference in that I don't sleep as well if I eat later. Especially since I am hitting the sack before 12am. I just went to the grocery store two days ago and spent over $100 buying nutritious foods so that I have plenty of wonderful options. Plus I have done some meal planning that will hopefully help curb my bad food choices and also keep some extra money in my pocket. :)

Still searching for an artistic outlet. I am looking on line and in the paper to see if something sticks out. I love photography but don't have a decent camera. I love to bake but that would kind of defeat the purpose of this blog. I would love to hear any suggestions of what I could do that wouldn't cost an arm and a leg. My friends and I have a few plans to visit some of the amazing art galleries DC has to offer and I am sure I will find some inspiration there. I have been feeling a pull towards pottery but seem to be having difficulties locating a class in the winter time. Ahh, well.... no biggie. :)

I hope that everyone is doing well and that you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Yes I Can!

If an African American male can run a history making campaign for presidency and WIN, then I should be able to get a handle on this healthy lifestyle change I am trying to implement. I have had set back after set back, all of which are self induced btw and yet I am still here and I still refuse to give up.

I got on the scale last night at the gym before my Bodyjam class and was rather disheartened to see 321.2. That is a 6 pound gain over the past two months. While I stared down at the number being reflected back to me I made a promise to myself, I will not take this to heart. I have been having stop and start female issues for about 3 weeks now and that may have something to do with it. The day before I weighed I walked 5K as training for the Turkey Trot. Plus, I can see on my body where I have lost some inches. Heck, since I have been doing weight lifting classes it could be a muscle gain but a fat loss. I just don't know.

I do know that my eating patterns are my downfall. I will have three really great days and then a few social engagements later and I am right back where I started. So I think I am just going to have to suck it up and try the calorie tracking and food journaling on Spark People. If there is one thing that President Elect Obama has shown me it's that you can't ever give up and as my friend Adrienne says, "You gotta have a dream to make a dream come true." My dream is to be the best Olivia I can be and right now I am pretty good but I know that a better me is just around the corner. :)

I work best on a schedule but with my line of work I need to work around the clients availability. But I still control the quality of my life. I have been thinking about goals that I can work on to help keep me on a schedule and here are some of them:

• go to bed by 11:30 every night
• get up by 8am every morning ( Sundays are freebies)
• when working, exercise in the evenings
• when off, exercise in the mornings
• pack lunches and dinners (eating out is for social occasions)
• do not eat meals after 7pm (only post workout snacks)
• log calories and food journal before bed
• find and artistic outlet to replace emotional eating

I am sure I will come up with many more things to cover but one day at a time. This weekend is full of clients, laundry and the Green Festival on Sunday which I am super excited about! I look forward to the inspiration that I will find there. :)

Yes We Can!

Congratulations new First Family!!

Happy Halloween!

Hello Campers!

You know, when I started this blog I had grand ideas about what I would do on it, the challenges I would face and the many, many, many posts I would write. Somehow the frequency in which I post has gone from several times a week to barely one every two weeks. I am going to try to rectify that starting now. Can't make any promises with the holidays coming up and the cruise looming ever closer but I will make a massive effort. So without further ado I give you an update on my life. :)

For starters I have been really sick the past 4 0r 5 days. It's that darn cold that everyone seems to be passing around to each other and I believe I got mine from my roommate. Thanks roomie! ;) So needless to say I haven't worked out since my boot camp session and am now just finally able to breath. The boot camp was pretty awesome. It was hard..... but awesome and I felt really good afterwards. I would love to do it again but will have to wait to see how the money situation goes. I do belong to a gym which I pay a pretty substantial amount for and can't really justify spending grocery money on another workout program when I can do something similar at the gym. Even though I really like working out with my homegirl, April. I guess we will just have to continue with the trades instead. :)

Well, this is my weigh in week. I am a little nervous since I haven't been able to work out in a while but I feel as if my food portions have been way better since I have been sick. The only way to know where I am is to get on that scale. SO I AM GOING TO DO IT! It has been really nice concentrating on my workouts and portions instead of "weight loss". It has taken the crazy, obsessive nature of weight loss out the equation. I am still getting compliments from people saying that I am "melting", especially on my back and bootie. So that is really nice to hear. And sometimes, on really good days, I can see it too.

I have been taking a fantastic daily vitamin that I got from the Vitamin Shoppe. It rocks the house! It's easier for your body to absorb since it comes from whole foods so you don't pee it all out just what your body doesn't use. So I credit that a lot to the fact that I am not eating as much in the portion way. My body is getting good nutrients from this vitamin so I don't crave as much either. It's awesome.

I have to step up my training for the Turkey Trot. The sickness has definitely put me behind schedule so this week it's about getting back on my workout track, eating health restoring foods and generally getting my health back in balance to survive the coming holiday season.

Oh, and this weeks healthy habit challenge is to get more fiber into your diet. I still plan on doing a liver detox but need to wait until this cold is completely out of my system since detoxing can sometimes cause you to get sick in the beginning stages. Once I am on that I will be eating a predominately vegetarian diet so that will ensure that I am getting plenty of fiber but until then up the fiber road I go!

Be extraordinary!

Baby Steps

Guten Tag!
I hope all of you out in blog land are kicking butt and taking names! :) I thought it would be a good time to update since it is the start of another week in Lyn's Habit A Week Challenge. This week it's eat a veggie or for those of us who already eat veggies it's about fitting at least one more per meal in there. I am actually really excited about this week's challenge. Fall is my favorite time of year. I love winter squashes, the holidays, the colors and the crisp touch to the air. In fact I find that I become more active in the colder months since it is usually hotter than seven hells here in ole Virginny during the summer months. I wont lie that I also enjoy lots of juicy and warming red wines this time of year. I have recently fallen in love with an Australian Shiraz that I have been trying to portion out discriminately but some nights are not as disciplined as others.

I have started my training for the Turkey Trot but I know I definitely need to up the intensity or I will be hurting on Thanksgiving Day! I am still doing my classes at the gym but am trying to train before that. Like today I went to a beautiful local park to walk what I hoped would be two miles but since the gnats were down right lynching me I had to stop at one. :( It's cool, treadmill here I come!

I am really excited about this weekend. It's the Richmond Highland Games and Celtic Festival! I am a very, very lucky girl for getting to see men in kilts on 3 different weekends in the last two months. *sigh* Plus I am getting a gorgeous desk for my massage office on Sunday. I can't wait to have my office reflect my business ethics and beliefs. I feel I will come across more professional if I have an actual place for clients to sit and fill out paperwork. :)

I feel as if I am in the most positive mind frame I have been in since starting this blog. I have been doing a lot of hard work in the mental department. Trying to get things to click and change up there so that those same changes will be reflected in my healthy and fit body. Next week will be my weigh in week. Since going to once a month I have been focusing more on having fun and doing fun activities to lose weight instead of the actual numbers. I have to be honest that I am starting to see small changes in my body here and there but my biggest change has been my attitude. Tomorrow my BFF and I are doing a boot camp style workout with our trainer friend. I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous but I am also really excited because I want to see just what I am made of. :D

Until next time..... Be Happy!

As Time Goes By.....

HELLO!!!
Good lord where did the week go?! Business has picked up thank goodness and so has my social life. I went to an amazing wedding on Sunday and had all sorts of get togethers 3 days prior. My eating has been going so so but with this weekends celebration I did partake of waaaay too much vino. But my oh my was it delicious! I love going to weddings. It is always a joyous and fun occasion, at least the ones I have been to. :)

Last Thursday I went to a supplement seminar at the Vitamin Shoppe hosted by Dave Formen The Herbal Pharmacist. It was fascinating! He talked about his four pillars of health: diet, exercise, spirituality and supplementation. He definitely subscribes to some of the same beliefs that I hold on whole foods and spirituality. On and off for the past several weeks I have been waking up between 3 and 4am, usually hot and uncomfortable. Well guess what? According to Chinese Medical Theory that is your liver. It is where your body stores the energy of stress and it means that I need to do a liver detox. In fact I have decided to do a fall detox anyway. Something gentle that lasts about 4 weeks and that I can still eat and exercise on. I will just have to stick more to a vegetarian diet to make sure I am getting plenty of fiber.

I started training for the Turkey Trot yesterday. I had a fantastic workout! I plan on walking again tonight and then taking a Strive class at the gym. This fits in perfectly with Lyn's week two challenge! Which is to move more, well ladies I am definitely moving more! :)

Well, I am off to clean and organize and meet up with my homegirl Adrienne for some sushi. YUM!

Hope you are all having a magnificent week!

Much Needed Time To Think

Hello All! First I would like to say a very heart felt THANK YOU to everyone for their incredible support. Your faith and kind words keep me from being too hard on myself. So again, thank you.

I also want to put out there that I never gave up. :) Even though I felt really frustrated, disgusted and angry, I never gave up. I had some much needed time to think and re-evaluate how I was approaching my weight loss. So here are some changes I and others have come up with:

1. I will only weigh myself once a month. My dear friend April, who is an amazing personal trainer, suggested this and I think I will follow it.
2. I am researching someone to talk to about my issues, a professional. My dearest and bestest friend Elisa suggested that maybe I should try to fix my food blocks upstairs before I start blaming my body.
3. For the time being I will suspend recording what I eat on here. It stresses me more than anything else because I fear the judgement.
4. I have decided to participate in Lyn's Healthy Habit a Week Challenge.
5. I will focus more, for the time being, on my workouts than being on a "diet."

The first week of Lyn's Challenge is to drink more water. That is something I can definitely do. :) So there you have it. One baby step at a time.

Falling Off The Wagon

I am really trying to hold it together right now. I am watching Biggest Loser and kicking myself repeatedly for falling off the wagon this weekend and this evening. I have had more sodas these past few days than I have in several months. I have had ice cream, pastries, fast food and large portions. I have slacked on my workouts, water intake and positive reinforcement. I know that this happens, I know that I am not alone but it doesn't make the hurt and disgust go away.

When will I effing find the combination for me?!?!?! When will it just click? Everyone I have read or known who has reached their goals had, at some point, a moment of clarity... a moment where it all seemed to finally click for them. I feel like I have been doing this forever. Oh wait! That's because I have been doing this forever. I have been on a "diet" since I was 8 years old. Why can't I just get out of my body's way? I know it has a voice but it's so buried under these heavy layers of fat that I can barely hear it.

I can work out. In fact I really love doing it. When I do it religiously I feel strong, confident and attractive. It's the food dang it! I don't seem to be getting it. WHY DO I HAVE THIS BLOCK?!

I want to be fit. I want to be healthy. I want to be beautiful. I want to be at peace with my body not at war with it.

I feel so lost right now.

What to do, what to do?

So my dearest, darlingest, bestest friend in the whole wide world, Elisa, bought me J'adore for my maid of honor gift. I love it!! I wear it on nights out, to work and sometimes just sometimes in my pj's. :) I can't get enough! But it does, however, leave me with a bit of a conundrum; what should be my 50lbs lost goal now? In fact I have no idea what to reward myself with after 30lbs lost. So here is where you all come in. Please leave a comment with any and all suggestions for rewards from 30 to 50lbs lost. I don't think I can manage thinking beyond that right now. Of course I have already decided what to do when I reach my weight loss end goal.

So pony up kiddies and keep those suggestions coming!!

See yas!

Busy, Busy Bee

Howdy! As the blog title says I have been one busy little bee. Which is such a positive thing and has been helping me tremendously with keeping on track. I have been working out about 4 times a week and doing A LOT of walking to and from work and other downtown destinations. I am hoping that it will reflect on the scale tonight. :)

My eating has been pretty good. I am still tweaking the portion fundamentals since I have become more active. I feel a little like Goldilocks trying to find the amount that is "just right." Some days 3 meals is sufficient but others, especially really active ones, I need at least one or two filling snacks. I still get certain cravings like mad but am trying my hardest to work through them and if by the end of one or two days I still want something, I'll have it but in a much smaller portion than before. Like today... I have been craving coffee for about 4 days so I got a tall cafe au lait instead of a grande. That coffee tasted soooo good because it was a long awaited for treat not an everyday expectation. I need to make another trip to the grocery store and stock up... it's been a while.

I absolutely love this time of year. The clothes, food, hot apple cider, leaves changing and my most favoritest of holidays..... Halloween! It also signifies the beginning of "eating season" and I am going to try my best to keep active enough that I don't go overboard. There are so many fun activities this time of year; apple harvest festivals, Highland games, fall hiking, the turkey trot and this weekend a super cool activity is going on. Obama and Biden are coming to the University of Mary Washington on Saturday to speak about change and guess who's gonna be there? ME!!! I seriously live within walking distance to the campus and provided I get off work on time I will be there bright and early for the line up. So exciting!!

Signing off until next time. Ciao!

Next Challenge

That's right I have a new challenge, one that I hope my friends and family will join me on. This Thanksgiving I am going to do the Family and Friends- YMCA Turkey Trot 5k Run! Now, I am not saying that I will RUN the entire 5k but I am gonna try to run as much of it as possible and power walk the heck out of the rest. You know what that means.... gotta step up the walking/running training. (gasp!) Plus this scares the poo out of me and I have been told by many different folks that you are supposed to challenge yourself to things that scare you a little. Well this scares me a lot! Plus, by doing this run/walk I can justify more calorie intake on Thanksgiving! YIPPEE!! Sweet Potato Casserole here I come!

YUM!!

Today I made this:

Oven Roasted Shrimp and Orzo Salad.

Which I got from this:

Amazing!!!

Kosher salt

Good olive oil

3/4 pound orzo pasta (rice-shaped pasta)

1/2 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice (3 lemons)

Freshly ground black pepper

2 pounds (16 to 18 count) shrimp, peeled and deveined

1 cup minced scallions, white and green parts

1 cup chopped fresh dill

1 cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley

1 hothouse cucumber, unpeeled, seeded, and medium-diced

1/2 cup small-diced red onion (I substituted red pepper)

3/4 pound good feta cheese, large diced

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.
Fill a large pot with water, add 1 tablespoon of salt and a splash of oil, and bring the water to a boil. Add the orzo and simmer for 9 to 11 minutes, stirring occasionally, until it's cooked al dente. Drain and pour into a large bowl. Whisk together the lemon juice, 1/2 cup olive oil, 2 teaspoons salt and 1 teaspoon of pepper. Pour over the hot pasta and stir well.
Meanwhile, place the shrimp on a sheet pan, drizzle with olive oil, and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Toss to combine and spread out in a single layer. Roast for 5 to 6 minutes, until the shrimp are cooked through. Don't overcook!
Add the shrimp to the orzo and then add the scallions, dill, parsley, cucumber, onion, 2 teaspoons salt, and 1 teaspoon pepper. Toss well. Add the feta and stir carefully. Set aside at room temperature for 1 hour to allow the flavors to blend, or refrigerate overnight. If refrigerated, taste again for seasonings and bring back to room temperature before serving.

Pineapple Express

I would like to think that I am the type of person, when choosing a prize for a reached goal, that would pick something chic and cultured. Instead, this time, I wanted to laugh and forget about a rather crappy day. So I chose to take myself to see Pineapple Express. I was not disappointed. This movie was hysterical! James Franco is super delicious even as a stoner and Seth Rogen plays a fabulous straight man to James' silly one. Danny McBride also deserves mention for being freakin hilarious! I laughed so hard that I was wheezing and crying. If you just want to "go away" for a while then check this movie out. The fight scene at the end was a little much for me but hey, it's a movie for and about guys.

I Have Made My Next Goal!!!

*313.4*

Oh my geesh.... it has taken forever but I have finally reached my 10lb goal! You know what that means, MOVIE MOVIE MOVIE!! I get to take myself out on a date for a movie of my choosing. What to do? What to do? When to go? What to see? Wheeeeeee!!

Day 19, 20 and 21 of the 21 Day Food Challenge

Well, the challenge is over and let's admit that I did not do as well with this one as I did with the workout challenge. Ah well..... I wont beat myself up over it because that kind of encouragement doesn't work so well with me. However, I am starting to play around with my portion sizes. It has been incredibly frustrating but I will not give up! I think I went to small at first because after I would eat, I would wait an hour and still be physically hungry. Most noticeably on days I had a lot of clients or a major workout. So by night time I am very hungry and craving all the wrong types of foods. I tried to be good. I had ice cream a few times but tried to make it more fruit and yogurt style desserts.

I don't have another challenge lined up yet but I will be thinking of one. I am just really going to focus on lots of workouts and whole foods. Maybe if I take the pressure off I will do better. Wish me luck!


9/09/08
Breakfast: 1 cup cooked oatmeal, brown sugar, walnuts, 2% milk, water to drink

Lunch: hardee's 1/3lb thick burger, bacon cheddar fries, medium coke....... bad, bad, bad lunch choice! :(

Dinner: asian marinated wild sockeye salmon, brown rice, sauteed zucchini, glass of orange pineapple juice, water

Dessert: (post workout) greek yogurt with honey and almond slivers, 1 kiwi fruit, water
9/10/08
Breakfast: 1 cup cooked oatmeal with brown sugar, walnuts and 1% milk, water

Lunch: my mama's homemade pork bbq with coleslaw on two pieces or organic whole wheat bread, apple, water

Snack: small snack size bag of Frito's

Dinner: leftover salmon, brown rice and zucchini, orange pineapple juice and water

Dessert: still hungry, don't think I ate enough for all the physical activity I did today so I had a small bowl of Kashi H2H cereal and 1% milk.

Glass of Rose to relax. :)

9/11/08
Breakfast: bowl of Kashi H2H cereal, 1 % milk, water

Lunch: homemade bbq sandwich with coleslaw, water

Dinner: small chix breast baked with Newman's O&V dressing, carrots and celery with light ranch dipping sauce, brown rice, water

Dessert: 1 scoop each of strawberry ice cream and cookie dough ice cream

Day 15, 16, 17 and 18 of the 21 Day Food Challenge

I must admit that today and this past weekend were a little decedent with a wedding celebration and all. I may have indulged a bit too much in the alcoholic beverages but I don't regret it because I had a blast and danced the night away. :)

Tomorrow is full of many wonderful accomplishments. Business to dos, healthy grocery shopping (which will hopefully cut the crappy eating tendencies) and Zumba at the gym. Still on a high from not having gained anything over the past two months. So.... YAY!

9/05/08
Breakfast: 1 cup cooked oatmeal with brown sugar, walnuts and 2% milk, water

Snack: piece of home made banana bread, plum, water

Lunch: shrimp scampi leftovers, water

Dinner: 1 cup of egg noodles, 4 stroganoff meat balls, 1 glass of club soda with 1/2 cup of orange pineapple juice

Dessert: 1/2 cup 0% fat Greek yogurt with kashi mountain medley granola, water

9/06/08
Breakfast: Hardee's bacon, egg and cheese biscuit, small hash rounds, orange juice

Lunch: Qudoba queso chix burrito, lemon snapple iced tea

Dinner: (wedding) salad, 1 roll, 1/2 prime rib, 4 potatoes, 1 piece of wedding cake and too many drinks to count. I am drunky mcdrunk drunk and I am ashamed.

9/07/08
Breakfast: two pancakes with butter and maple syrup, 3 maple sausage patties, iced coffee with cream and sugar, water

Lunch/Dinner: (post workout) 3 veggie spring rolls, panang curry with chix, steamed white rice, water

Dessert: 3/4 club soda, 1/4 pineapple orange juice

9/08/08
Breakfast: 1 cup cooked oatmeal, brown sugar, walnuts, water

Lunch: left over panang curry with chix, white rice, water

Dinner: quizno's regular sized club sandwich, sun chips, lipton white tea

Dessert: chocolate chip cookie, water

Finally Kept My Date With The Scale.....

.... and it wasn't sooo bad. In fact (drum roll) I have lost .4lbs since my last weigh in almost two months ago! I thought for sure I was going to record a gain since my eating wasn't so hot for a few weeks and I haven't been working out with the same zeal I once had. But... I worked out today and I feel really good. :) Here are days 11,12,13 and 14 of my 21 day food challenge:

9/01/08
Breakfast: Bob Evans, two scrambled eggs with cheese, 2 sausage links, home fries, 1 pancake with butter and syrup, water and hot tea with cream and sugar

Lunch: mix green salad with black beans, carrots, tomatoes, feta cheese, chix, water and raspberries

Dinner: small bowl of butternut squash soup from Trader Joe's, peanut butter and jelly sandwich on organic whole wheat bread, water

Dessert: bowl of watermelon

9/02/08
Breakfast: one cooked cup of whole oatmeal with a little bit of brown sugar, walnuts, 2% milk and dried cranberries, 80z of pineapple/orange juice and water

Lunch: egg salad on two pieces organic whole wheat bread, bowl of watermelon, water

Dinner: mixed green salad with avocado, tomatoes, carrots, black beans, feta cheese, baked chicken breast and Annie's Balsamic Dressing, water

Post workout snack: recovery shake with whey protein

9/03/08
Breakfast: kashi h2h cereal with 2% milk, water and a vitamin

Lunch: veggie quesadilla, newman's organic salsa, watermelon, water

Dinner: two fish soft tacos, way too many glasses of Rosado

Dessert: two pieces of banana nut bread

9/04/08
Breakfast: 1 cup cooked oatmeal with brown sugar, walnuts and 2% milk, water

Snack: piece of home made banana bread with salted butter on top, water

Lunch: shrimp scampi ( at home) with angel hair pasta, water

Dinner: 6 ounce sirloin steak with sauteed mushrooms, baked sweet potato with butter and cinnamon, house salad with blue cheese on the side, 1 roll, 2 glasses of sweat tea

Some entries are not so hot but there is more good than bad and as we all know, this is a journey with many ups and downs but it's who you are in between that counts. :)

A Good Day

Today I had a good day. I started off with some EFT Tapping ,had a healthy breakfast which I may have to change around because it only lasted through 1 and a half massages, had an equally healthy lunch and dinner, a full days work and I went back to the gym tonight. I tried the Zumba class for the first time with my step sister. We had a blast and I think we may even make it a regular thing. :) I made it a point to stay positive and focused throughout the day. Being that busy really helped me stay on track with the eating. However I realized today that I definitely need 3 meals and 2 snacks when I have a full work load and errands to run. On less busy days I could probably get away with only 3 meals but today I got really hungry and headachey towards lunch and the end of my day.

The one really positive thing about having a bad day is that you are usually blessed with an equally good one the next day. And I was. :)

Here's to a prosperous, harmonious and healthy week! CHEERS!

Okay, Let's Turn A New Leaf

Let's be honest, the last two weeks have not been my best. In fact since I started this blog I have had more than my fair share of "do overs." As it has been pointed out to me by not only my own observations but by those of strangers reading my blog, my food consumption is not where it needs to be. In fact it is not even in the same galaxy that it needs to be. I don't know what to do. I feel really lost. I have tried every diet known to man; Atkins, South Beach, Weight Watchers, LA Weight loss..... you name it, I tried it. I have read countless books on diet & weight loss; Eat Right for Your Type, French Women Don't Get Fat, Fat is a Feminist Issue, You! On a Diet..... just to name a few. I even went to a dietitian a few years back.

When it comes to food, food combining, portion control I am completely lost. Math has never been my best subject and the thought of trying to figure out what my calories need to be in order to support weight loss while working out and having a physical job like massage makes me want to scream. I don't really understand how many calories are in certain foods and how to calculate up or down for portion size. I have tried many times to "get it" but have only been met with failure in the past. Maybe someone can explain it to me in a way that makes since? Does anyone know of any websites or tools that help with this and I mean in layman's terms?

Please, only positive and helpful comments from now on. :)

Challenging Challenges

Hello all! I just wanted to address something really quickly before I resumed an actual post. In the past week I have received two very judgemental comments on my blog. One concerning my language and the other how much I eat. The former at least left their blog name so that I could get an idea of who they where (even though they haven't posted anything on their blog in which to comment on) but the later isn't even a blogger or if he is he is too scared to leave his actual address and would rather hide behind a "screen name."

To the first negative Nancy, if the words that I use upset you then please feel free to discontinue reading my blog. It's a free country in which I can write what I choose and you have the right to not read it. If you don't like my blog then just don't read it. It's really not necessary to leave me a comment to say that you don't like it or that my language offends you. Really, I wont be upset if you don't read. :)

To the second downer Dan, I don't need or appreciate your negative or judgemental comments about how much or what I eat. Obviously food is a gray area for me, one on which I am working but it is a process and nobody is perfect. I make mistakes, I eat things that are not good for me but I also eat things that are. That is why it is a CHALLENGE for me. I don't put down the ounces of what I eat because I don't measure, which maybe I should but that is my choice. The first step for me is to be honest about my mistakes and record them whether I want to or not because I am serious about becoming healthy but again, it is a work in progress. For someone who has a very physical job like myself and exercises I do need more fuel than the average Jane. And when I do make a not so healthy choice, believe me, I am beating myself up over it more than you ever could. So no thanks, I don't need help in that department.

I'm sorry that I even had a need to make this post and I am not trying to be negative myself. I receive far more supportive comments than not but felt it should be addressed.

Hey other weight loss bloggers, is this a problem for you too?

Day 6, 7,8, 9 and 10 of the 21 Day Challenge

8/27/08
Breakfast: two scrambled organic eggs with cheese, two pieces of organic whole wheat toast with butter and orange marmalade, water

Lunch: two garlic stuffed olives, spaghetti left overs, water, 3 pieces dark chocolate with almonds and raisins

Snack: colby cheese cubes, walnuts and dried cranberries

Dinner: doctored up amy's spinach and cheese pizza, added yellow squash, black beans and feta cheese, water, hard cider

Dessert: small heath bar blizzard from Dairy Queen

8/28/08
Breakfast: oatmeal with brown sugar, walnuts and dried cranberries, water

Lunch: rest of leftover amy's pizza, two garlic stuffed olives, kiwi, water

Snack: two homemade choc. chip cookies, glass of 2% milk

Dinner: a whole mess of stuff at my book club meeting

8/29/08
Breakfast: kashi h2h cereal with 2% milk, water

Snack: banana

Lunch: amy's burrito with newman's mild garden salsa, 4 garlic stuffed olives, water

Snack: 3 homemade choc. chip cookies, glass of 2% milk

Dinner: big mixed green salad with garlic stuffed olives, feta cheese, carrots, dried cranberries, walnuts, black beans and Annie's organic balsamic salad dressing, water

Dessert: Fage 0% fat yogurt with almonds, honey and raspberries, hot red tea

8/30/08
Breakfast: whole wheat tortilla, peanut butter, banana, honey and water

Lunch: one fish taco, one shrimp taco, sprite

Snack: 1 scoop of mint chocolate chip icecream on a sugar cone

Dinner: volcano roll, philadelphia roll, shrimp tempura roll, salad, small saporo beer

Drink: three vodka and gingers

8/31/08
Breakfast: kashi h2h cereal with 2% milk, water

Lunch: Hardee's chicken, mashed potatoes & gravy, biscuit with butter and marmalade, mac & cheese, water

Dinner: hotdog with ketchup, baked beans, chex mix, birthday cake, vanilla icecream, water, coke

Movie snack: Dr. Pepper

Days 3,4 and 5 Of 21 Day Food Challenge

8/24/08
Breakfast: slice of bacon, cheddar aspargus quiche, sliced strawberries, water

Snack: grande iced coffee with a shot of vanilla and cream

Lunch: tuna salad on organic whole wheat bread, avacado with black beans and olives salad, terra veggie chips, water

Snack: Dunkin Donuts small iced coffee with cream and sugar

Dinner: :( Pot roast, mashed potatoes and gravy, corn, mac & cheese, biscuit with butter and jam, water.....DAMN YOU CRACKER BARREL!

8/25/08
Breakfast: bowl of Kashi cereal with 2% milk, water

Snack: banana, colby jack cheese cubes, water

Lunch: cheddar, asparagus, bacon quiche, olives, terra veggie chips, water

Snack: Amish canned pears and peaches

Dinner: Chipotle chix burrito bowl, fuse slenderize, snickers bar (hey, I started my monthly...what can I say)

8/26/08
Breakfast: whole wheat tortilla, natural chunky peanut butter, banana, water

Lunch: cheddar, bacon, asparagus quiche, canned peaches, water

Snack: olives stuffed with garlic

Dinner: quinoa spaghetti, newman's roasted red pepper and garlic tomato sauce, amish country sausage, fresh grated parm cheese, glass of chianti

Dessert: 3 pieces of dark chocolate with almonds and raisins

First Two Days Of The Food Challenge

Here are the first two days broken down by meal. I have to say that I am eating really well throughout the day and then something happens to me at night. This ice cream beast has taken over my body the last couple of days. I can't seem to stop thinking about it and ice cream isn't even my favorite dessert. I usually go for any sort of sweet bread product. So I am hoping to break the vicious cycle tonight. I have plenty of fruits to eat should the sugar beast arise and I am praying that my will is strong enough to override the craving.

My plan is to go to the gym tonight after I do a bunch of work at the office. So maybe I can workout through the craving. I didn't go to the gym the other day like I was supposed to so when I go tonight the scale and I will have a little chat. Maybe the number that appears will get my but in gear. Nothing like positive reinforcement. ;)

How was your weekend?

8/22/08
Breakfast: whole wheat tortilla, chunky all natural peanut butter, sliced banana, honey, hot green tea and water.

Lunch: tuna salad on organic whole wheat bread, olives, terra veggie chips, strawberries and grapes salad, water

Dinner: wild sockeye salmon, brown rice, roasted asparagus. water

Dessert: two scoops butter crunch ice cream with caramel sauce, whip cream and a cherry

8/23/08
Breakfast: whole wheat tortilla, chunky all natural peanut butter, sliced banana, honey and water

Snack: tall iced coffee with a shot of vanilla and cream

Lunch: piece of bacon, cheddar, asparagus quiche, strawberry and grape salad, water

Snack: Colby jack cheese cubes

Dinner: wild sockeye salmon, brown rice, sauteed zucchini, water

Dessert: waffle cone with a scoop of cookies n cream and rocky road ice cream

I've Got My Poo Kickers On.........

and I am ready to kick some poo! That's right, I'm back. The beach was beautiful and amazing but in no way relaxing. I really didn't have a moment to concentrate on the issues I needed to meditate on. Oh well, just have to do it at home which, surprisingly, has been more relaxing than the beach. I guess you really can't run away from your problems.

Anywho, I have a new game plan. I most definitely lost focus for like the gazillionth time but I am ready to get back up with my fisty cuffs protecting my face and kick some major booty. I have started exercising more regularly.... gonna try for 4 days a week and I have decided what my next 21 day challenge is going to be. Are you ready? For 21 days straight I will eat at least 2 home cooked meals a day. I am gonna shoot for 3 but sometimes with my work schedule that isn't possible, however if I do eat out it will be healthy and fresh foods. NO FAST FOOD! The challenge starts tomorrow, 8/22/08.

I am super scared to get back on the scale but know I must suck it up, put my big girl panties on and do it. So gym, here I come. Scale, you and I have a date tomorrow in which you will gladly pay for everything and I wont be expected to put out.

I have just spent $150 on groceries at Ukrops ( a fancy, dancy grocery store) and am ready to feel good again. I am ready to feel proud of myself and strong. I am ready to reach my next 5 pound goal dang it! I am ready to find me.

Sally Sells Seashells By The Seashore

Hello Readers!

Just wanted to update you guys on my little hiatus.

I am going to the beach for a couple of days to clear my head and get some perspective on the issues that I am currently dealing with in my life. I will resume posting when I return with hopefully a little more clarity on the situations.

Take care and have a great weekend!

I Am Still Here.....

and still plugging along. I have some personal issues I am dealing with at the moment but rest assured I am still on the road to health. As soon as things become clear I promise to post more.

Hugs!

Validation

Hello Bloggy McBloggersons! I trust that everyone is doing well out there in bloggerland. Hmmm... let's see. How many more cheesy references can I make about blogging? I wouldn't know because I am going to stop here. :)

I just wanted to share with you what happened today at work. It was a really good work day. Not too many clients and not too few. It was a very Goldilocks kind of day. Everyone at the shop was in a good mood and I was really feeling my massage mojo. I had a client come in today whom I haven't seen in a few months. She is actually one of my favorite clients....she is just so damned cute! Well anyway, after my kick ass massage she came out to the front to pay and just as she was about to leave she turned and said, "Girl, you have lost weight! A lot of weight." Needless to say I was shocked and super pleased. I said that I have been trying and she said that she could tell because my face and upper body are much slimmer. And of course I started doing the whole, "No, I haven't really lost that much....." blah blah blah. Olivia just take the damn compliment and say thank you!! So I stopped myself and said, "Thank you. I have been working really hard." YES!!! God it felt good to hear an unexpected validation for my efforts. I have been flying high all day.

That's all. :)

Day 1 Of Getting Back On Track

My dear girls from my positivity group were both sick this morning. Which made me sad because I was really looking forward to our weekly meeting. I feel so recharged after. I hope that they both have a very speedy recovery. :) So instead of the meeting I decided that since I was already up why not just get the gym out of the way. So I did. It felt really good to be back so good in fact that I felt good enough to hop on the scale to see were I was. Guess what? 315lbs! That's right, uh huh!! I have lost .9 lbs since my last weigh in. I am just so freakin' ecstatic that I haven't gained anything over the past week.

So in a healthy celebration, my gurl Adrienne and I are going out for sushi. Good for you sushi....okay, maybe 1 shrimp tempura roll but everything else will be divine.

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

I have been reading a lot of weight loss blogs recently. I guess I have been searching for examples in other bloggers for what I have been feeling lately. I mean, I completed my 21 Day Challenge. I am rewarding myself with non food prizes. I have even started to really appreciate and focus on the things I really like about myself. However this past week I haven't been to the gym once and I really haven't been very diligent with my healthy eating. In fact I have been eating what I want when I want it. To be perfectly honest, I am eating Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia out of the carton while I write this. Isn't that freakin ridiculous?! Never the less I am still eating it while writing a post about loosing focus on my weight loss blog and staring at the wing of fat waving under my arm while I turn the volume down on the tv.

What's the point of this post you may be asking yourself? The point is that I am starting fresh and new this minute. The one common fact about most weight loss success stories is that they would often lose focus in the beginning but that the point was to never give up. Just start again that very minute. Which is what I have decided to do....right now. I have put the ice cream away, am drinking a large glass of water and getting my game plan straight in my head.

Tomorrow I am starting my day by having a positivity meeting with two of the most amazing women I know while eating healthy and delicious food that is good for my body. Then I will head off to work to be a care provider for my clients. After that I will tra-la-la off to the gym to provide some much needed care for me. I may even get up the courage to get on the scale to see where I stand. Once I hit the grocery store I will start my next 21 day challenge of 5 servings of fruits and vegetables.

I just need to remember to stay focused and never give up. Because I am worth it. :)

Reaching My Final Goal

I have been thinking about this a lot over the past several months. I have a reward system in place for when I lose the first 50 pounds, have kinda started thinking about what my rewards would be for the next 50 but beyond that I haven't really come up with anything. It seems that in typical "me" fashion I have been concentrating most on the prize at the end. What in the world would I give, get or have done to myself when I finally reach the great and powerful Oz? The possibilities are limitless because, let's face it, I really can't picture myself there yet. In my mind it is still a little unattainable and maybe that is a good thing. Maybe it helps to force me to focus on just the "next 5 pounds" because 5 pounds is not nearly as daunting as say..... the next 150 pounds. Which right now is my end goal. I want to see how I look and more importantly how I feel at 170 pounds.

If, no, WHEN I reach my final goal I want the reward to be something so spectacular, so amazing, so unbelievably outrageous that I become addicted to the idea of actually achieving it. It has to be something that I already obsess about, dream about, ache for. So here is what I came up with:

When I reach my goal of 170 pounds I am going on a two week hiking trip through the Scottish Highlands! Now the question is: WHO'S COMIN' WITH ME?! :) Check out this site and this site to get an idea of what I am talking about.

HELL YEAH!

Guess What UPS Just Dropped Off?!

!!!!!!!!!

I had decided about a week ago that I would make this my reward for the 21 Day Challenge.

I am so in love with this bathing suit that I am wearing it right now while I type this post.

" All right, Mr DeMille, I'm ready for my close up. "

This Book Is A Must Read......

for anyone and everyone who has ever been completely and utterly confused about what to eat. Science keeps changing it's mind about what we can have and what we can't, how much of it and how we can have it. I personally can't keep up with an ever changing list of rules. Which is why I was so drawn to this book. I wont go into great detail but if you have issues with weight, food and health, like I do, then please do yourself a favor and read this.

Third And Final Effing Week Of The Challenge:

7/12/08gym: 30 min elliptical, 20 min lower body weights, 10 min cool down and stretch

7/13/08gym: 30 min elliptical, 2o min upper body weights, 10 min cool down and stretch

7/14/08gym: 30 min elliptical, 20 min core ball exercises, 10 min cool down and stretch

7/15/08gym: 30 min elliptical, 10 min cool down and stretch

7/16/08gym: 30 min elliptical, 10 min cool down and stretch ( I know it seems repetitive but that is all I have had time for the past week)

7/17/08gym: 30 min elliptical, 10 min cool down and stretch

7/18/08gym: 30 min elliptical, 10 min cool down and stretch DONE!!!!

I did it! I actually freakin did it! In fact I am a wee bit surprised that I didn't make an excuse to not go. I mean there were times when I desperately wanted to, when I had no time for anything else and all I wanted to do was take a nap I still went. I am really proud of myself. And yes I am actually a little teary eyed typing this.

I foresee my next challenge being a bit more "challenging" because it involves food. I have decided to do the 5 servings of fruits and veggies daily 21 day challenge. It is the perfect time of year to do it since the farmer's market is in full swing. I haven't decided on a day to start the challenge yet but I will definitely let you all know. I will also be doing a weigh in sometime next week on the day I feel the lightest. ;)

Thank you all so much for your incredible support and love. I think I would have given up on myself a few times if it hadn't been for you. I love you all!

XOXOXOXOXO!

I Got My Hair Did.......

and it is super cute! Sorry I don't have a picture to go with it but I will try to get one. The closest picture I could find of what my hair kinda looks like is this (the color is not the same though):

You like?

The End Is Nigh!

Three more days. I think I can hold on for three....gasp....more days. (slumps to the floor)

Reasons Why I Want To Lose Weight

Just To Fat put up a lovely post reminding herself why she was trying to lose weight in the first place. It's a very inspiring post and at the end she encourages other bloggers to make a similar list. I have been thinking about mine for a few days and here is what I have come up with so far:

• To feel the kind of sexy that healthy and fit people seem to just radiate
• To be able to walk into any clothing store and make cute and sassy apparel purchases
• So that my lower back doesn't constantly hurt
• To do any adventure sport without being completely out of breath
• To feel confident in dating again
• So I can enjoy sex without being self conscious
• To attract an amazing man
• To fit comfortably in an airplane seat
• To look beautiful and graceful dancing
• To feel small and feminine (as much as I can at 5'10)
• So I can comfortably do Yoga

These are just a few I came up with and the closer I get to my goal, the more I hope to come up with so that I can continue to give myself that little extra push.

How about you?

Okay Kiddies, Here Is Week Two Of The Challenge:

7/05/08gym: 30 min. elliptical, 10 min. cool down and stretch

7/06/08gym: 30 min. elliptical, 20 min lower body strength training, 10 min cool down and stretch

7/07/08gym: 45 min elliptical, 20 min upper body strength training, 10 min core/ball training, 10 min cool down and stretch

7/08/08gym: 1 hour hip hop dance class

7/09/08gym: 30 min elliptical, 10 minute cool down and stretch

7/10/08gym: hour long hip hop dance class

7/11/08gym: 30 min elliptical, 30 min core ball exercises, 10 min cool down and stretch

This was an incredibly hard week to get through. I have heard that the second week of breaking or forming a habit is hardest but I had no idea how hard. Jeesh! So today officially starts my third and final week of the work out challenge and I am approaching it with mixed emotions. Equal parts excitement and dread.

My dear friend Elisa brought up a very interesting point the other day and suggested that I pick a special reward ( not one I already have listed for lbs lost) for the completion of this challenge. I told her I thought it was a great idea and then proceeded to go completely blank with what that prize should be.

So my questions for you dear readers are:

1.) What should my reward be for the completion of this challenge?

2.) What should my next challenge be?

I am trying to keep momentum and would like to continue challenging myself until my goal is reached. Maybe this one could be a food challenge. Like..... making sure I get 5 fruits and veggies every single day. Especially since this is the season of plenty.

Toodle-loo my little chick-a-dees!

Where the Hell is Matt? (2008)

I love this!

Still Pluggin' Along

Hello everyone! Yes, I am still here and yes I am still working out every freakin' day but I can tell you that the high I was feeling during the first seven days has most certainly worn off. It has really become a "challenge" this second week. My actual last day for the challenge is Friday July 18th and it feels like it will never get here! I have made a decision to not weigh myself until after the challenge is over because I was sneaking some quick peeks here and there and was becoming extremely frustrated since my weight was going up and down all over the place. In my mind I know that my body is just trying to adjust to the new workout load but the instant gratification girl inside of me wants the results to show now.

I have really started feeling the aches and pains in my body as well. My left knee constantly twinges so I think I need a brace for workouts until I can get the majority of my weight off. Even though I am stretching like a crazy person my calves are on fire. In fact two nights ago I got a charlie horse in the right one. I haven't had one of those in years. Maybe my electrolytes are off or I need more potassium.....I don't know. If you all have any suggestions I would love to hear them.

Now, it's not all been bad. I have started to notice a difference in my clothes. My body seems toner, my skin looks much better... in fact sometimes it looks down right glowy! Plus my exercise high seems to last longer after each workout. Maybe I am starting to develop a habit. Hmmmmm.

How are the rest of you doing out there with your own challenges?

First 7 Days Of The 21 Day Challenge

Alrighty, here is the first lot of workouts. I have to say that I feel really good. I have definitely noticed an improved difference in energy and focus in my daily activities. I have more energy to do more massages and I don't seem to get as sore after a long day. Excellent!

I would like to point out that even though I had the hangoverest of hangovers today, I still managed to drag my sorry butt to the gym at 9pm tonight to do 30 min. of elliptical and 10 min. cool down and stretch. I AM WOMAN. HEAR ME ROAR!


6/28/08 gym: 30 minutes Elliptical, and 20 min lower body weights, 10 min cool down and stretch

6/29/08 gym: 30 min. Elliptical, 30 min. water weights

6/30/08 gym: 30 min. Elliptical, 40 min weights, crunches, push ups and cool down stretch

7/01/08 gym: hour long Hip Hop dance class

7/02/08 Gym: 30 min Elliptical, 10 min stretch and cool down

7/03/08 gym: hour long Hip Hop dance class

7/04/08 gym: 30 min elliptical, 15 min core workout, 10 min cool down and stretch

EEK!! It's Swimsuit Season

Yes, it's every big girls favorite time of year......swimsuit season. I know, hold back your excitement. I already knew in my mind that I would have to find a new suit for the cruise in December which wasn't so bad since I have a little time until then but I have been invited to go to Duck, NC with my extended step family for a few days in August. Now before you say, "What's the big deal?", I will tell you what the big deal is. My entire step family is petite with super cute figures and let's face it, when I am around them I feel like a heifer. Most of them do not reach above 5'4 and they have no body fat, never sweat and can wear the cutest of clothes and the sassiest of heels while I clump along beside them in flats sweating my makeup off and ruining my freshly styled hair.



So in my desperation to try my darnedest to at least look stylish next to them I began BIG GIRL SWIMSUIT HUNT 2008. And this is what I found:





Isn't it just stunning?! It reminds me of a time when sirens of the silver screen came equipped with curves for days and those curves were celebrated if not coveted. So I am saving up my pennies so that I can, at least for one day, feel like Marilyn Monroe.

Happy 4th Everyone!!

The 21 Day Challenge

I am actually participating in my very first blog health challenge. Lorrie of The Token Fat Girl threw down an interesting gauntlet. She asked those of use interested to challenge ourselves to something healthy for 21 days straight. In my over zealousness I pledged that I would work out for at least 30 minutes every day for 21 days. At the time it seemed a great idea but now that I am on day 6, and tomorrow being a holiday, I am starting to ask myself, "What have you done, Olivia?!" And that's okay because I am still plugging along.

Tonight I have my hour long hip hop class. Tomorrow the gym is open until 2pm so I can get my workout done in the morning and still have time to party. Saturday there is a new dance class I want to take called Zumba and Sunday can be whatever I want. So that will put me at day 9 and then I'll only have 12 days left!

*weeps quietly to herself*

Pray for me.

Any takers out there to doing their own 21 day challenge?

Reward For Reaching Goal # 1

I can't even begin to tell you how excited I was going into Ulta to purchase my reward for losing the first five pounds. I felt like breaking out into song and spinning in the isles but I didn't cause that would be weird. Anywho, here is what I chose:

OPI's I'm Not Really A Waitress.

You can see the color better in this picture.

and I couldn't resist picking up OPI's newest editions the Nic's Sticks paint-n-go nail lacquer in I'm Outta Here!

So, you like?

ZOINKS!!!!

Woo Hoo!!!

*315.9*

Yes my friends I have FINALLY reached one of my goals. So far I have lost 7.5 lbs which means I can finally buy my first treat, nail polish! I am also well on my way to my next prize... treating myself to a movie.

Even though I weighed myself today instead of Tuesday (cause I haven't been to the gym since last Tuesday), I had a feeling that I would be able to record a loss. I tried to chill out about the whole weight loss thing and just concentrated on trying to eat right and even when I slipped I didn't beat myself up over it. I worked like a mad dog this week and I think that had something to do with it plus Aunt Flow went back home after an extremely annoying visit.

This was just the boost I needed to keep my positive energy flowing and to get me excited about working out again.

Thanks for all of your words of encouragement. They mean the world to me! :)

Picking Myself Back Up, One Fat Roll At A Time

Last Wednesday until right now I have been throwing myself one hell of a pity party. It began with my very discouraging weigh in on Tuesday night and was kicked up a notch by the worst "female issues" I've had since high school over fourteen years ago. In fact Sir Cramp A Lot has been with me for 5 whole days and nights and has caused me to be a major Grumpy Gus. My emotions have been rivaling Sybil and my "unhealthy" food cravings have become an obsession. However the worst part was that I just said "F*uck It!" and gave up......completely.

Until now. After a nice dose of self disappointment and condemnation something snapped. So I have decided to get over myself and get back to work. I owe a large part of this focus to the amazing weight loss blogs that I read and to the bestest friend a girl could ever have, Elisa. Who, btw, is also embracing her thin side. Yes, that's right folks, we are not fighting the fat, we are embracing our fit and healthy bodies. My fit and healthy body has been asleep like Rip Van Winkle since, well, forever. But Elisa knows what it feels like to be fit and healthy and full of energy because she got there. I find her such an amazing inspiration because when she is healthy and happy there is NOTHING IN THE WORLD that can stop her.

So here I go.....again. After I finish this post I am heading to the grocery store to stock up on all the healthy foods and beverages that my body wants but that I have been to mean to give it. With a stocked fridge it will be harder for me to rationalize quick, high fat and nutritionally empty foods. It may even help me save on the moolah front too. I know that I wont make it to the gym today but I will definitely be there tomorrow for hip hop dance class. I may even join my friend Adrienne for Pitayo before hand and then the dance class. I know, I am too crazy!

Be Good To Yourself. I know I am trying to.

4th Weigh In

Weight: 319.7

Loss of .8lbs

DAMN IT!!!!

Time Flies.....When Your Super Busy

Sorry.
I honestly don't know where the week went. I had to work everyday last week except Sunday which was spent at my Dad's house for Father's Day and my step sisters bday. I think I was over there for over 8 hours and by 10pm last night I was so tired that I couldn't see straight.

So I took today off to catch up. I shopped, got an oil change, spent quality time with my best friend and made the most wonderful fruit salad. I have started to notice that my energy level has dramatically increased since I upped my workouts. I went to the gym 4 times last week even though my workload had tripled. I believe that my workouts were the main reason that I had the energy to get through last week. That and the fact that I have been upping my vitamin intake with Mona Vie. I am still working on my diet. Some days are better than others and overall I think last week was the best so far. I am going to try to top it with this week. I started off on the right foot today by having a very good food day.

My goal is to workout at least four days this week too. I may even get crazy and try for five. :) The temperature is supposed to be really nice the next few days so I may even have the opportunity to walk the track at my local park. I have a few social engagements later this week and this weekend so it will be a true test of my abilities to make good decisions in a setting that I can't control.

Today, while hanging out with Elisa, we went on line to look at all of the excursions we can do on the cruise. There are at least 3 that I really want to do that have weight restrictions of 250. I tried not to be discouraged because that means that I will need to lose over 75 pounds by December 13. Right now that seems impossible. Especially since I am only losing about 1-2 pounds a week. So I am gonna try.....that's all I really can do.

Well, the weekly weigh in is tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Adios!

Weigh In # 3

Weight: 320.5-- loss of 1.1lbs.

Okay, so I am still losing although not as much as I thought I would. Granted I did a lot of social things this past weekend and my control may not have been what it should have but I worked out A LOT. Shouldn't that at least show on the scale.....more than 1.1lbs worth?

It is abundantly clear that I really need to get this diet thing under control because I am really getting frustrated that I work so hard at the gym and then completely undo it at the table. So skinless chicken breasts and veggies, Here I Come! I am going to attempt a "no carbs after 3pm" thing. Please, pray for my will power.

Except for the pitiful weight loss my week has been going really well. I have been really busy with work which is a blessing since I need the heavier cash flow. Hopefully since I have been working so hard I will finally have the extra cash to go grocery shopping. My cupboards and fridge are pathetically bare. I have been eating out a lot more lately but I am trying to make healthier choices. Eating at locally owned restaurants instead of chains but if I do eat at a chain I try to stick to their healthier options. I don't always succeed but I try.

So let's see what my goals are for this week: exercise...check, no bad carbs after 3pm....check and more fruits and veggies....check!

See ya later alligator!

Down On Me

I feel really lost right now, really disappointed and very weepy. Why do I continue to quit on myself? I just started this damn change and already I have made excuses, felt bad about myself on numerous occasions and almost given up a couple of times. I feel so weak right now.

I love to work out, that is not my problem but when it comes to the diet I have absolutely no discipline. I love food. I love to cook and bake. I love discussing food and wine and anything involving the culinary arts. I love to watch the Food Network. My other blog has mostly links to other food blogs. I envy those people a lot. I envy people who can have a healthy love of food and wine and still maintain a healthy lifestyle. I want their carefree attitude about food and life in general.

I have traveled to Europe on three different occasions in my life, which is a whole different problem ( cause I haven't been able to travel there more.) I long for the European approach to the pleasures in life. They absolutely do not agonize over every little calorie or gram of fat. They don't apologize for making their meals an occasion to be celebrated and remembered. I also admire the flavors of the Orient and how Asia has raised their gastronomic adventures to an art form.

My major problem is that, on most occasions, I wait until I am ravenous to begin my quest for food. That usually leads me to make bad decisions and thus the cycle continues. I know that claiming to be super busy is only one of many excuses I use to give up on myself. I could make my meals ahead of time and freeze them portioned and everything. But do I? No. Do you want to know the reason why? Because I just don't want to have to deny myself something if I want it. I just want to be able to work out a lot, eat whatever I want and just lose weight. Alas that will just have to continue being my fantasy since we all know that's not how it works.

One of the things I am trying to change about myself is to be more pro-active. Since I have been hating on myself the past couple of days I decided to go to the gym on a Saturday night and swim. I watched two episodes of Biggest Loser reruns then I went to the grocery store and bought some skinless chicken breast, milk and kashi cereal. I already have potatoes, green beans and zucchini from my stop at the farmers market on Tuesday. So tomorrow I will have a healthy breakfast, choose wisely when I meet my friend for lunch at my favorite restaurant and then try to control myself at my friends going away party at Cheeseburger in Paradise. I love their mojitos! I WILL go to the gym tomorrow and then come home and make myself a healthy and nutritious dinner. Plus, I will blog about my day that evening so that I don't leave you all hanging about my progress.

For those of you out there struggling with the same problems, please leave me a comment on what you do to get yourself out of a slump.

Ta!

2nd Weigh In

Okay, here it is. My first weigh in: 321.6. That's a loss of 1.8lbs!! Yay!! An actual loss! Granted it is not as large as I was hoping but I think we all know that my eating was not it's best this first week. I hope to get to the grocery story sometime this week to stock up on healthy cheap foods ( thanks for the suggestions Lorrie!).

I went to hip hop dance class tonight and thought I was gonna actually pass out. I think it was a combination of things, not enough water throughout the day, it was hotter than three hells in the room and Aunt Flow is seriously kicking my ass. The class was still fun but my near death experience was not ( insert eye roll due to over dramatizing here).

My goal for next Tuesday's weigh in is to increase my weight loss by 4 pounds. Yeah, that's right, I am gettin' crazy here and pushing for a 5 or 6 lb lost for next week.

My exercise goal is to work out at least4 days this week.

My food goal is to eat more fruits and vegetables.

Later Taters!

Gateful

I have decided after watching Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life for like the billionth time that I am going to start putting up on my sidebar someone or something that I am grateful for everyday. I know that by doing this it will help me to focus more intently on the positive which is how I want to approach my journey to health. :)

Maybe by doing this I can stop focusing on what I want "to lose" and help me appreciate more of what I have gained. For instance tonight I have a date with the scale at my gym. Once that is through I will be enjoying a hip hop dance class. I am thankful that I belong to a gym that I actually like.

What are you grateful for?

Weekend In Review

Saturday was the day from hell. I started the day off with a nasty message from one of my bosses on my voicemail. Sweet. Then I get to work and the last therapist hadn't cleaned up the hot stones from the day before and I needed them for my first session. That put me way behind which, I am sad to say, set a nasty tone for my day. I got into a fight with my best friend over something silly during my lunch break. Because I was so upset from that and the fact that my client took their sweet time leaving I wasn't able to eat anything. I had only had 3 sausage cheese balls for breakfast.

So I finished up my work day and headed home to scrounge up a snack before a much needed shower. I was to meet some friends at Chipotle for dinner before seeing Sex and the City and I didn't want to run late but I also wanted to get rid of my low blood sugar headache. Isn't it amazing how a shower can make everything seem better? Needless to say the night drastically improved, the movie was awesome and it was great hanging out with my girls.

Sunday Aunt Flow came for a visit which prevented my sleeping in. Grrr.......
I did however have lunch with my friend David, who I hadn't spent time with in over 2 years. It was really awesome to catch up. He is getting married in the fall to a fantastic girl who keeps him in line. ;) We had Vietnamese food which I love but the restaurant wasn't very good. Oh well.

After that I came back to my apartment to meet up with my BFF so we could discuss what happened on Saturday. It was such a wonderful talk, emotional, but wonderful. I really love that girl to bits! :) After our heart to heart I was really hungry but unfortunately a huge thunderstorm blew in and cut off power for a while which was super annoying. All I really wanted was a Papa Johns sausage cheese pizza and a coke (emotional eater much?) but of course every pizza joint in town had lost their power as well. After an hour of trying to find some place that was open I finally ordered a Hawaiian pizza and Dr. Peppers for me and the roomie. I had decided to pick it up since it would take less time and I was uber hungry. Did you know that I still had to wait a half hour when I went to pick the dang thing up? Sigh.

I finally made it home, ate and began to relax. I cleaned up my room, got organized for Monday and then read a book. Today was much better than the previous days before. I was able to release some of the anger and emotions I had been storing the day before and now I feel pretty good. In all of my reflecting this weekend I came to the realization that I need two days off a week. I was really starting to get burned out and now I have more time for me and more time to focus on my health and my game plan.

I am intending that the next few posts will be happier ones. Who wants to read about a grumpy Gus all the time?

Oh yeah and there is that date I have with a scale tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Can I just win Lotto already?!

Today was a very discouraging eating day. I have had quite a few no shows and cancellations this week and it is definitely starting to affect my wallet. Which, in turn, affects what I can afford to buy food wise.

I desperately need to go to the grocery store but am waiting till next week to find out how much money I can spend on food after rent and bills are paid. This sucks! I really want to eat fresh, healthy locally grown foods but being cash poor at the moment is making it incredibly hard. It didn't help either that I ate very little throughout the day so that after a full days work my body was ravenous. Again, not the best time to make food decisions. Couple that will the fact that I need to make my money stretch further and we are right back to square one. Buying high calorie, low nutrition food for under $7. THAT IS HOW I GOT THIS BIG IN THE FIRST FRIGGIN' PLACE! I WANT OUT OF THIS CYCLE! NOW!!

I get so frustrated sometimes with my lack of imagination when it comes to healthy cheap foods. I have champagne tastes on a beer budget. In this country that's not a good thing because everything fresh and nutritious costs the most. So what do I do? Does anyone out there have any suggestions?

I know that this post seems angry, cause it is, but I don't want that to be the tone of my blog. So I am going to suck it up, drink some water and try to get a good nights sleep so that I may start fresh and new tomorrow.

See ya then!

Oy!

What a day. It began with my usual morning routine: get up, fix breakfast, check emails and stuff, return phone calls and mentally prepare myself for the day. Well, while reading emails one of the places that I work (there are two) called to say that they weren't sure that I knew but I had an 11am session booked. I didn't know, no one called me and it was now 10:06am. CRAP!

So I rushed to the shower, cursing the whole time.....I hate being rushed in the morning. I usually get over heated and sweaty and I can't seem to cool down the rest of the day. It sucks. I get to work and begin my very long day of taking care of others and I can feel a tension headache coming on. As a massage therapist I should make it a point of getting a regular massage myself but it has been well over 3 months since I last had one. The pain and tension just kept building and building until finally, today, I couldn't take it anymore.

The reason I am giving you this much info is that since I felt so awful, I opted to get a 90 minute deep tissue massage instead of going to the gym. I wish that I had time to do both but the massage won out in the end.

My eating today was really good....until the evening. I had lunch around 1:30 and wasn't able to have dinner until 9pm. My massage did get out until 8:30pm so by that time I was ravenous and I think that we all know that when you are crazy hungry you don't make the best decisions. So I had Chinese food, which I really don't like but it was one of the only things open that late that wasn't drive thru.

So I am not going to beat myself up, I already paid someone to do that earlier. Instead I am going to get a great nights sleep, hit the gym tomorrow morning and then begin my day. Actually I will be beginning my day with a lovely facial. Jealous? ;)

STATS/ 1st Weigh In

Okay, as promised here are my stats:

Height: 5'10
Weight: 323.4 (gasp)
Age: 32 (sob)
BMI: 46.3 (good lord!)

Cruise weight: 260
End Goal Weight: 150
End BMI: 21.5






I damn near had an aneurysm when I got on the scale today. HOW?! Well it truly is time to buckle down and get healthy. I am starting to walk my talk. I have to lead by example for my clients since I am a massage therapist. People are always asking for advice for stretching, working out and what they can do food wise for there bodies in order to make them healthier. I can just imagine what they are thinking when I start to tell them how important water, healthy food, exercise and stretching is for them. "What does she know about it?"

Well, starting now I am speaking from experience!